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The 5 Stages of Cinematic-Bomb-Denial

Posted by Daltons chin dimple on Wednesday, August 18, 2010

In honour of Scott Pilgrim and it's box office from the weekend. A guy (or girl) called BurnHollywood posted this over at AICN but I thought it worth reproducing here for discussion.

1. "Maybe it's a slow starter...wait 'til next weekend!"

2. "This film was sadly victimized by not only bad timing, but by poor marketing! Of COURSE it was going to come in last!"

3. "This movie was just TOO good and TOO smart for today's audiences!"

4. "Nice job...because you assholes didn't see this, Hollywood is going to churn out nothing but crap from now on!"

5. "Great! This movie is now officially a Cult Film! I'm GLAD it didn't succeed!"

Strider
Location:
Posts: 1430
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

It is a shame that Scott Pilgrim bombed money-wise at the box office.  I thought the movie was brilliant, and Edgar Wright deserves to have a massive hit.

#2 on that list certainly doesn't apply to Scott Pilgrim.  The move had a ton of marketing behind it, and it was pretty good stuff too.  While I would love for #1 to be true, that never happens.  #3-#5 are just silly, but sadly heard all too often from internet morons.

In the end, I'm glad that SP got made and that I had a blast with it.  It's my favorite movie so far this year, and it will be very difficult for any other movie to best it.  I am definitely going to get the Blu-Ray once it comes out (SP is visually amazing for sure), and I'll probably see  it again in the theater before it leaves.  If other people don't enjoy it like I do, who cares.

However, I will admit that I got somewhat annoyed at the many reviews of the movie that were more reviews of imaginary audiences than of the film itself.  If you don't like the movie, fine, but don't insult people while you are doing it.  NPR had a great article on this subject.

www.gamingoutsiders.com
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

I haven't read a single really bad review for Scott Pilgrim, which is why the level of percieved failure is such a surprise.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

I was really hoping Scott Pilgrim would succeed so Hollywood would stop making crap.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Maybe it is a slow starter.  The reviews say it's good.  People who have seen it say it is amazing.  Maybe it just needs word of mouth to catch and then it'll explode?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

It's Serenity part 2. It'll be gone in 4 weeks tops.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Strider wrote:

It's my favorite movie so far this year, and it will be very difficult for any other movie to best it.

Fevrit movah, eh? How dare yew! STOMP! PTOOEY! Why'n if'n yew don' beck down right char, I'm-a sen' ol' Teardrop affer yew, an' he ain' gut no cumpuntion 'bout endin' yew!

Yew go on un say yer fevrit mova uhs Winter's Bone, like'n I sehs yew better'n seh'tis!

PTOOEY!

Which'n NPR criticuh derlin' you'n gun ta stick buhin'? Sum vee-do guhm movah, or ol' Winter's Bone? I ain' believin' you all nuhtice nothin' 'bout no "audence bein' revewed" insteada ther mova 'tillin' NPR gon' plantin' as much in yer noggin. *I* ain' be tryin' suh herd tuh win yer affeshun! You'n go'n walk itoff, yer hear?

Here's a doobie for your walk. An' I bekked uppa squirrel real nice so'n yew din' git tuh hunger sheks.

PTOOEY!

PTOOEY!

PTOOEY!

atrejub
Location:
Posts: 739
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

My favorite line in the NPR article (though I really liked Dinner for Schmucks) was "I hated it like it kicked my dog and sent me an invoice."

Also, Scott Pilgrim was awesome. I immediately messaged my brother after Goiter, Mal and I saw it and told him to go see it, which he did (he also thought it was awesome). I know that I'll be buying it on DVD, and he'll probably be getting it on Blu-Ray.

Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

A teenage boy thought Scott Pilgrim was awesome? No way!

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

I thought it was aging-an-entire-lifetime-in-a-single-day-ly average.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Strider
Location:
Posts: 1430
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

Fevrit movah, eh? How dare yew! STOMP! PTOOEY! Why'n if'n yew don' beck down right char, I'm-a sen' ol' Teardrop affer yew, an' he ain' gut no cumpuntion 'bout endin' yew!Yew go on un say yer fevrit mova uhs Winter's Bone, like'n I sehs yew better'n seh'tis!PTOOEY!Which'n NPR criticuh derlin' you'n gun ta stick buhin'? Sum vee-do guhm movah, or ol' Winter's Bone? I ain' believin' you all nuhtice nothin' 'bout no "audence bein' revewed" insteada ther mova 'tillin' NPR gon' plantin' as much in yer noggin. *I* ain' be tryin' suh herd tuh win yer affeshun! You'n go'n walk itoff, yer hear? Here's a doobie for your walk. An' I bekked uppa squirrel real nice so'n yew din' git tuh hunger sheks.PTOOEY!PTOOEY!PTOOEY!


Unfortunately (fortunately?) the only thing I could understand in all that was "Ptooey". I think I need a shower. Oh, and I might update my post in the best 2010 movies thread....or whatever it's actually called.

www.gamingoutsiders.com
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

You don't speak red neck?

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

No.  Blue balls?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Strider
Location:
Posts: 1430
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Quasar wrote:

It's Serenity part 2. It'll be gone in 4 weeks tops.

I think this is probably the biggest contributing factor. When you do a ton of preview screenings to the point that a huge portion of your target audience gets to see it for free, the box office numbers are bound to be impacted.

www.gamingoutsiders.com
kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

I could translate for you...

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Strider
Location:
Posts: 1430
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

I certainly speak redneck.  There are plenty of them around here.  Truth be told, I just didn't feel like wading through Goiter's post earlier.  Now that I have, I kind of wish I hadn't.  My brain is melting.

www.gamingoutsiders.com
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Strider wrote:

My brain is melting.

I still got it!

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago
atrejub
Location:
Posts: 739
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

I still got it!

It's been harder for you though since cartoons switched to CG.

jraven56
Location:
Posts: 335
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

I admit, occasionally, to being a movie snob. I once heard a librarian declare "I want to see the third Mummy movie, they say it's the best one yet." I wanted to know who 'they' were and what trailers they had watched to come to such a conclusion. I raged against public libraries because the staff held such opinions.

So I calmed down by watching Six-String Samurai and began to realize that I had no real room to judge. And one day I did watch that third mummy movie, feeling very much like Sam Neil at the end of In the Mouth of Madness.

That said, I am the Scott Pilgrim audience. It couldn't be more geared towards me had they hired a special theatre to show it to me on my birthday. I think it looks dumb. I'll watch it someday.

Someone told me I should Blog...jraven56.wordpress.com/
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

jraven56 wrote:

I admit, occasionally, to being a movie snob. I once heard a librarian declare "I want to see the third Mummy movie, they say it's the best one yet." I wanted to know who 'they' were and what trailers they had watched to come to such a conclusion.

Ebert said it.

jraven56
Location:
Posts: 335
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Well hush my mouth

Someone told me I should Blog...jraven56.wordpress.com/
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Whilst reviews are completely subjective, hasn't Ebert had a few strange picks in the last couple of years?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

He gives over half the movies perfect scores.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

What did he say about "Horso Lives" ?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"