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Current Annoyances

Posted by The Swollen Goi... on Friday, March 5, 2010

I will be updating this infrequently. I will sometimes repeat myself. Feel free to add your own current annoyances.

Adam54
Location:
Posts: 2082
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Current Annoyance #1: I have not yet made it to Milwaukee to fuck kah.

Current Annoyance #2: I just watched the pilot of V at long last, am very much digging it, and it's midnight which means I can only get one or MAYBE two episodes in before I need sleep.

Current Annoyance #3: I cannot curl 24/7.

Current Annoyance #4: Jake still hating on the Lost finale even though it was awesome.

Current Annoyance #5: Goiter said something that legitimately made me laugh out loud no less than nine seconds after I told him to shut his face elsewhere on the interwebs. Don't play with my emotions like this dude!

And Current Annoyance #6: Obama pretending like he doesn't know how to use things like iPods or Twitter (which he called "Twitters" today if I'm not mistaken.) Why are politicians required to act dumber than even people who use Twitter? He had to get the rules changed so he could use his BlackBerry, yet we're supposed to believe he can manage those teeny tiny keys, yet can't run an iPod? Don't do that Barack. Your skin color alone is enough for the ignorant racists. Don't throw fuel in the fire like that.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

I know what I said to make you tell me to shut your face, but I have no idea what I said to make you laugh out loud.

Adam54
Location:
Posts: 2082
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

Watching Lost makes a chick feel like she's been fucked four times?

That. Well done sir.

kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Where in the world did you get the idea that I'm against non-consensual sex?

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Adam54
Location:
Posts: 2082
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Me? 

Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

My boner just got a boner.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Mal Shot First
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Posts: 3180
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Adam54 wrote:

And Current Annoyance #6: Obama pretending like he doesn't know how to use things like iPods or Twitter (which he called "Twitters" today if I'm not mistaken.)

Why do you assume that everyone is familiar with those things. I own neither a Twitter account nor an iPod because I consider both of them useless, so if somebody were actually able to convince me to use them (fat chance!) I'd first have to familiarize myself with them.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

I have porn on my iPod. That way, I'm never without it.

Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

I have pr0n on my iPhone.  I carry a 1tb portable hard drive filled with pr0n.  I haxx0r3d my Kindle so it has pdf versions of Swank, Hustler, and High Society.  

But really, all I want now is to tie Kah's hands behind her back, gag her (or maybe make her gag) and bang her silly.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Strider
Location:
Posts: 1430
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

With drumsticks.

www.gamingoutsiders.com
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Turkey ones.  From Rennfest.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
atrejub
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Posts: 739
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Jakester wrote:

Turkey ones.  From Rennfest.

The ones from Six Flags not good enough?

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Nope.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Current Annoyance

Walked past an SUV with the following bumper sticker: "Still mad at Yoko."

First of all, this assumes knowledge of a topic not everyone knows about. This only annoys me slightly, since, admittedly, many do know exactly what it's addressing. It's connected to the Beatles, and even kids who've never listened to them can be expected to have gained knowledge of them through cultural osmosis.

I guess I'm not too bothered by Yoko only being identified by her first name. There are many, many Yokos in the world, of course, and there are even some other Yokos (Yoko Tawada and Yoko Shimada come to mind) who are semi-famous to westerners, but I reckon most folks know Yoko Ono is meant whenever someone bitches about a "Yoko." (There is a "Yoko" entry in the Urban Dictionary that supports this.)

Back to many having a basic knowledge of the topic, though. I guess its advertiser hopes to do with it what I think most people with bumper stickers hope to do: forward an agenda, entertain/address a select group, and appeal to members of that group for either its support or enmity. A "Stop War NOW!!!" bumper sticker, for example, would be understood to communicate a political agenda, and would serve as an invisible high-five to like-minded liberals and and an invisible middle finger to conservatives--despite the issue being, at its core, a complexer one than left vs. right.

What I am trying to say is that I dislike the majority of bumper stickers. I think they encourage and reinforce easy thinking and "us versus them" mentality, whether or not the people who put them on their cars feel they do the opposite. It's rarely (never?) the case that I am made to reevaluate my world view by a bumper sticker. The last time I laughed at a bumper sticker was probably 2004, when I saw a car in Memphis with a bumper sticker what read "If it ain't King James, it ain't Bible." I laughed because I was pretty sure, based on the surrounding wall of bumper stickers, that this person didn't mean it as a joke, and because, given the absurdity of it all, laughing was easier than crying. On top of that, they decrease a car's resale value.

Regarding the text of the bumper sticker I saw this morning:

I believe I have brought this up before, but Yoko didn't break up the Beatles. Actually, after doing a brief search, I know I brought this up before. (Here.) Back when I did, I said:

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

Every Beatle but Paul was sick of being a Beatle, and Paul was fighting with some desperation to keep them all together. (All together now!) This desperation came across as controlling and megalomaniacal to the others, and only served to drive them away. John and George weren't interested in forcing the "Beatles Sound" on their compositions any more, and wanted to come and go in the studio as they pleased. They all had different things going on, and booking times agreeable to all involved became a scheduling impossibility. George was sick of having to fight tooth and nail to convince the others that his songs were worth recording, only to suffer the indignity of having them humor him by running through dozens of takes of his songs before deciding, ultimately, to shelve them. Ringo just wasn't having any fun, and was in the process of developing a minor acting career.That's the way it all went down.

I know, because I was there.

To add to that:

Almost all the Beatles worked together pretty soon after the breakup. Ringo drummed on John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band (1970). Ringo also drummed on George's All Things Must Pass (1970). George played on "How Do You Sleep?" (a song publicly and un-apologetically directed at Paul), from Lennon's Imagine (1971). Lennon and Harrison both cowrote some songs and played together with Ringo on Ringo (1973). Lennon, Harrison, Starr, and Billy Preston (4/5 of the people who played on Let It Be [1970, recorded in 1969]) all played together on the track "I'm the Greatest" from that album. Paul co-wrote and played (along with Linda) on a track from Ringo ("Six O'Clock"), but none of the other Beatles was present for the recording.

Paul and John wouldn't come back together again until the jam session that led to the A Toot and a Snore in '74 bootleg. That was made while John was producing Nilsson's Pussy Cats, and I think it might have been one of the last times John and Paul were in the same room. Legend has it that John and Paul were hanging out and watching Saturday Night Live the night Lorne Michaels offered the Beatles $3,000 to reunite and perform on the show, and briefly considered crashing. This is also rumored to be the last time John and Paul would see each other.

The group wouldn't come back together in Lennon's lifetime.

The only other Beatle Paul played with in an official capacity between 1969 (Let It Be was released in 1970, but the majority of it was recorded in January of 1969) and 1981 was Ringo. George, Paul, and Ringo wouldn't play together again until after Lennon's death (for Harrison's "All Those Years Ago").

I'm not suggesting that Paul broke up the Beatles. It's pretty clear to me that he's the only one who wanted all of them to keep as the Beatles, but I don't think he broke them up.

On some level, I'm glad they broke up. I think they went out with a bang. I'm sure they could have released some great stuff together, but judging by a lot of the output of both the solo Beatles and other sixties British bands, the quality would have been spottier than we'd want it to have been.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

My favorite bumpersticker is "In case of rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned." It just strikes me as the kind of prideful boast that would keep someone from being included in the rapture. Which makes it ironic!

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Quasar wrote:

"In case of rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned."

This suggests that God is un-accepting of women drivers.

Adam54
Location:
Posts: 2082
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Mal Shot First wrote:

Why do you assume that everyone is familiar with those things. I own neither a Twitter account nor an iPod because I consider both of them useless, so if somebody were actually able to convince me to use them (fat chance!) I'd first have to familiarize myself with them.

Oh I don't assume that at all. I just assume that he is. I'd believe John McCain telling me he didn't know how to email the Twitters from his iPod, but Obama not so much.

HI MY NAME IS GUS
Location:
Posts: 357
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

My favorite bumper sticker is made by The Onion; it reads: "Jesus is my car insurance."

Think of me as a megaphone directed at God's eardrum, my child.
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 35 weeks ago

Just out of curiosity, I checked to see how many popes have been assassinated/murdered. Turns out there have been a good few. There's even a Wikipedia page for it.

According to that page, Pope John XII was murdered "by a cuckolded husband." Because it wasn't clear to me from the entry whether or not the pope was the person who cuckolded him, I went looking for more information. I found the following on the Catholic Encyclopedia:

"On 6 November a synod composed of fifty Italian and German bishops was convened in St. Peter's; John was accused of sacrilege, simony, perjury, murder, adultery, and incest, and was summoned in writing to defend himself. Refusing to recognize the synod, John pronounced sentence of excommunication (ferendæ sententia) against all participators in the assembly, should they elect in his stead another pope. The emperor now came forward to accuse John of having broken the agreement ratified by oath, betrayed him, and called in Adalbert. With the imperial consent the synod deposed John on 4 December, and elected to replace him the protoscriniarius Leo, yet a layman. The latter received all the orders uncanonically without the proper intervals (interstitia), and was crowned pope as Leo VIII. This proceeding was aginst the canons of the Church, and the enthroning of Leo was almost universally regarded as invalid. Most of the imperial troops now departing from Rome, John's adherents rose against the emperor, but were suppressed on 3 January, 964, with bloodshed. Nevertheless, at Leo's request, Otto released the hundred hostages whom he had called for, and marched from Rome to meet Adalbert in the field. A new insurrection broke out in the city against the imperial party; Leo VIII fled, while John XII re-entered Rome, and took bloody vengeance on the leaders of the opposite party. Cardinal-Deacon John had his right hand struck off, Bishop Otgar of Speyer was scourged, a high palatine official lost nose and ears. On 26 February, 964, John held a synod in St. Peter's in which the decrees of the synod of 6 November were repealed; Leo VIII and all who had elected him were excommunicated; his ordination was pronounced invalid; and Bishop Sico of Ostia, who had consecrated him, was deprived forever of his dignities. The emperor, left free to act after his defeat of Berengarius, was preparing to re-enter Rome, when the pope's death changed the situation. John died on 14 May, 964, eight days after he had been, according to rumour, stricken by paralysis in the act of adultery. Luitprand relates that on that occasion the devil dealt him a blow on the temple in consequence of which he died."

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 34 weeks ago

Current annoyance: Home Internet

Unfortunately we had a crazy fucking lightning storm that knocked out my ethernet port, i.e. no goddamn internet.

Fortunately my Qwest modem came with 2 cords: an ethernet cord and a usb cord

Unfortunately getting your internet through a usb cord is apparently the equivalent of the forever dreaded dial-up

Fortunately the modem has wireless capability

Unfortunately setting the modem to wireless requires internet capability beyond the pitiful ability of the usb cord

Fortunately my old modem was set up for wireless, and I have procrastinated sending it back. I take it out of the box and voila! wireless internet

Unfortunately, though faster than usb, the wireless internet is still a paltry shadow of my old ethernet, i.e. 5 hours to download a show I used to get in 1 hour

Fortunately I ordered a new ethernet card. And after having Dell talk me through installing the wireless network card, I should be able to handle installing this one myself. It should arrive by tomorrow.

Hopefully it does not arrive with an unfortunately

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 34 weeks ago

IT makes my ass twitch.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 34 weeks ago
kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 10 years 34 weeks ago

Ick. Spiders in the shower.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 34 weeks ago

Pennywise makes everyone's ass twitch.

I hate spiders.  I was particularly not fond of the black widow things that lived in my mother-in-laws garage in Northern CA.

 

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 10 years 34 weeks ago

On of my FB friends has a recording studio in her garage.  She posted pics of a few black widows she's found in her garage.  She's British just like you, Moneybags.  But she's hotter.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.