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Current Annoyances

Posted by The Swollen Goi... on Friday, March 5, 2010

I will be updating this infrequently. I will sometimes repeat myself. Feel free to add your own current annoyances.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 29 weeks ago

Being sober-ish and hungry makes you wish you were married, again?

I'm not sure I follow the logic.  

Are you saying that, were you married, you'd be drunk and full now, and that you'd prefer that state of being?  Are you saying that you associate being sober-ish and hungry with being married (which association, perhaps, its strengthened by your having just come from a wedding), and that you'd prefer it if you could maintain that state of being for longer than you usually do?

Are you saying that seeing a happy couple on their wedding day makes you want to be married?  

Are you saying something else altogether?  If so, is it only because you are "sober-<i>ish</i>"?

My guess is that you are asleep, now, and will not be answering any of these questions within the next few hours.

Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

You should not get married.  You should bang chicks and then have someone tell them you've died when you're ready to move on.  You should be good at this.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

My current annoyance is that the really hot college freshmen chicks don't come to our picnics naked.  Mom was hot, too.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

I bet she wasn't naked either!

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

I was.

Drakemd
Location:
Posts: 1905
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

Driving home from the beach yesterday, I saw a sign that advertised a local farmers market along the roadside.  Normally, this would not be annoying, except that this sign read, "Naked Farmer's Market".  Again, if it were an all-girl farm, I would not be annoyed.  I glanced past the stare of my wife to notice a half-naked male farmer.  Thankfully, it was the top half.  I didn't stop to look for the bottom half.

I'm annoyed that the sign made me look.

Turn your head and cough!
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

"Naked Lady Farm" sounds like a DVD that everyone should own!

Re: Goiter's question.  Seeing the happy couple made me grimly aware that life is thundering past at an incredible rate.  Not ideal motivation, but one takes what one can get!

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

If you'll let me bang her whenever I wish, you can marry Kah.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

Just a word of advice. After people get what they want, they don't always keep their word.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

I don't need to get what I want to go back on my word.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

Jakester wrote:

If you'll let me bang her whenever I wish, you can marry Kah.

Call me a traditionalist old stick-in-the-mud, but don't you think that Kah might have something to say about this? The marrying me, I mean, not the banging you. We all know that isn't going to happen.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

If she'll let that jagoff kiss her, she damn well better let me bang her.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

I don't want to be there on the day Jakester finally loses hope of banging Kah.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

That'll be the day I die.  I mean, if she dies first, then there's not much chance she'll fight back.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

So it's a race to see who dies first?

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

Like life, in reverse!

Just as well Kah works in a bar.  If she hadn't been exposed to a multitude of "weird" across those 3 feet of mahogony then she would be seriously creeped out right now!

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

Mahogany?  LMAO!  Try particle board with a thin wood-like veneer.  lol.  Might be a slight exaggeration, but my bar is definitely a hole-in-the-wall townie bar.  The carpet is so threadbare, it's practically part of the floor and there is a trapdoor in the floor to the basement, which even has a tunnel that attaches to the house next door.  The bar's neighbor is a dead ringer for Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds and half my male customers are more comfortable walking the 20 steps to piss outside than the 5 it takes to walk to the bathroom.  We are a shot and a beer place, and I probably serve a single shot drink in a tub about twice a week.  When someone orders a Jack and coke, I automatically pour a double tall.  When I buy someone a drink, I can tell them to "go fuck themselves" and they smile and tip me.  Since the smoking ban went into effect, I make the entire bar go outside with me for a "smoking rally", since my boss is a paranoid assbag and tried to tell me I can't smoke in case someone wants a drink (goes behind the bar to clean out the till).  He has 11 cameras inside the bar and another 4 outside.  Ridic.  I don't always love what I do, but I'm good at it, and I get to be bitchy and sassy and silly and drop the fbomb without anyone twitching an eye.  My "work" is my customers' play time, and when they misbehave, I get to treat them like naughty children.  Half of them tip me more when I do so.  I can't believe I quit my job without another one lined up.  Tonight is my first night at work since I told him I'm done.  He will either piss me off so much I walk out in the middle of the shift (like I did the first time I quit working for him 7 years ago) or he will kiss my ass so hard I might relent and stay another month til he pisses me off again.

Wow, I'm rambling.  I blame Goiter.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

You can come tend my bar.  I'll give you more than just the tip.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Jack S. Pharaoh
Location:
Posts: 2231
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

Jakester wrote:

I'll give you more than just the tip.

I think you'd have to.

kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

You know what's really fucking annoying?  I can't create new topics or quote anyone's text.  I miss the Cinescape forum setup.  I liked pushing a button and getting all the new posts on one page.  I liked knowing who started a thread and who replied last.  I'm annoyed that when I click on the new replies, I still have to search for the correct page. 

X.x

 

Anyways, this is for you, Jake.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLWzifhbXZ4

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

Snatch patch.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Adam54
Location:
Posts: 2082
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

kah wrote:

Snatch patch.

I'm getting this put on a T-shirt above your picture.

Actually, scratch that.

I'm getting this put on a T-shirt above Ol' Beau Watkins' picture.

kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

Did you watch the video, fool? 

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Adam54
Location:
Posts: 2082
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

 Nope. I'm in public at the moment, and know better than to click any link you provide while I'm in public. :) 

Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 10 years 28 weeks ago

I love you, Kah.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.