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Current Annoyances

Posted by The Swollen Goi... on Friday, March 5, 2010

I will be updating this infrequently. I will sometimes repeat myself. Feel free to add your own current annoyances.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 27 weeks ago

The new posts this is mucho annoying.

The rich text editor is so annoying that it could have been directed by M. Night Shymalan.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 24 weeks ago

Current Annoyance
I was looking for the exact line from Stand by Me (can't remember if it's in "The Body"; I haven't read it since I was a preteen), and I found this gem from a book called Hollywood's Stephen King:

"At the end of the film, Gordie's firing the pistol and his willingness to use it against Ace is a repudiation of all the symbolic acts and language of emasculation mentioned above. The pistol is nothing less than a phallic object, and Gordie uses it to assert his identity as a man, while abandoning forever his status as impotent boy-child. He even assumes the bravado of male potency when he tells Ace to "suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood" while pointing the gun directly in his face. In his confrontation with Ace and the older boys over possession of Brower's corpse, Gordie declares his independence from the tyrannical premise that the weak must always remain subordinate to the strong."

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 24 weeks ago

I believe that quote is supposed to be "such IS my fat one".

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 24 weeks ago

Suck my fat one.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 24 weeks ago

I believe you have breached internet etiquette by editing a typo that you've been called on.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 24 weeks ago

I think I prefer your line to the original.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 24 weeks ago

Current Annoyance.

Bastard kids on a school trip on my train to work this morning.  All I want to do when I drag my sorry carcass out of my pit at 6am to be on a train for 6:30 is get on the train and go back to sleep until I hit London St Pancras station.

Why are kids so fucking loud?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 24 weeks ago

Daltons chin dimple wrote:

Why do kids fuck so loud?

fixed.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 24 weeks ago

They don't fuck so much after they're fixed.

Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 10 years 24 weeks ago

Daltons chin dimple wrote:

Why are kids so fucking loud?

Being raucous is what kids do: the louder the better. It's just a way to have fun when there's nothing else to do, or has it been so long that you don't remember what being a kid is like, Dalty?

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 24 weeks ago

Yeah, so long ago now.  Back in the day, when music had a tune, and people knew how to wear pants without it showing off their underwear.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 24 weeks ago

When I was a kid we had to walk 10 miles to school, through waist deep snow, uphill, both ways.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 10 years 24 weeks ago

Yes, but did you make a ruckus with your friends while you did this?

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 24 weeks ago

We were too tired. The old people still complained, though.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 23 weeks ago

Current Annoyances.  Sunday nights, for being just before Monday mornings.  Did I mention how I hate Mondays?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 23 weeks ago

Garfield hates them more.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 23 weeks ago

He loves lasagna though, but Christopher Lloyd (on Stacked) claims a cat's stomach can't handle the complex carbohydrates. So maybe the Monday thing's out of whack too.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 23 weeks ago

Garfield's clearly not a cat.  He's not even there, according to garfieldminusgarfield.net.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 23 weeks ago

Who's kicking Odie then?

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 23 weeks ago

Life.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 23 weeks ago

So.... where was Bill Murray?  I am confused.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 23 weeks ago

He was at home... washin' his tights.

Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 10 years 23 weeks ago

I thought he got shot for dressing like a zombie.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 22 weeks ago

Current Annoyance

This link.

I can understand the frustration with people's constant misuse of literally, but if The Oatmeal is going to be dickish about it, they should be a little more careful with their own wording.

I take issue with their assertion that "Excellent joke! I LITERALLY pissed myself laughing!" is analogous to saying, "Excellent joke! A large urine stain has formed on my pants!"

For me, the formation of a urine stain is dependent upon both the length of time following the urination and the quality of the urine, itself. While the act's having caused a stain is one possible result, it doesn't necessarily follow that the sentence's implication is that a stain was caused.

I also take a little bit of an issue with The Oatmeal's usage of "implying." (If they had used the word "implication," I might have had a real issue, considering its use in logic formations.)

kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 10 years 22 weeks ago

puking

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"