Corona | Coming Attractions

One time I literaturally pissed myself laughing...

Poor Kah. 

It's not the norovirus is it?  That causes country AND western.  Batman AND Robin.  Gilbert AND Sullivan.  It's not pleasant.

Current annoyance.  Man boobs.  Moobs.  Bitch tits.

I have lost 3 stone (is that about 43 pounds???) since June.  This is in an attempt to get rid of the weight I gained after I gave up smoking and replaced cigarettes with beer.... and food!

I now never drink beer during the week (Sunday to Thursday) and rarely drink alcohol during the week either.  If I do it is usually a couple of glasses of red wine.  I have replaced lardy breakfast with a cereal bar, and lardy lunch with a salad and some lean protein like chicken breast or a salmon fillet.

I exercise every weeknight on my cross trainer and with light weights / high reps.

My waist has gone from 36-37 inch down to about 32-33 inch and I am getting back to how I was when I swam, played soccer and rugby and walked a couple of miles a day to/from the station to my place of work.  All good?  Nope.

Because I am having massive trouble shifting the last vestiges of these damn bitch tits!

Any ideas????  What works?

Lots and lots of push-ups. They work the large muscle groups in your torso, such as the abdominal and pectoral muscles.

I hate push ups.  I wish I could do them one handed like some kind of Uber-Man+ but instead my arse sticks up in the air like some cat on heat before I fall on my face and start to cry like a woman.  LIKE A WOMAN!!!!!

Would bench presses do the same thing, only upside down?

It's not safe to bench press upside down....I'm not even sure it is possible.

Push-ups won't really get rid of man tits. They will put muscle under them, and deflate them a bit, but they will still be there. I've lost 60+ pounds twice in my lifetime, and both times left me with saggy tits. They shrink back a little if you manage to hold the weight off for more than a year--but only a little.

That's my experience, at least.  Every body is different.

I wish you luck with your bitch tits, Dalty.

Technically, bench pressing should achieve the same effect. People use chest presses when they want to target the chest area specifically:

Of course, you could also buy one of these compression shirts and save yourself some hard work.

The only other option is to have a plastic surgeon do his thing.

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

The only other option is to have a plastic surgeon do his thing.

What, perform a sex change so they become Boobs instead of Moobs?

omicron wrote:

What, perform a sex change so they become Moobs instead of Boobs?

Fixed.

Hmmm, liposuction on the bitch tits.  Isn't that technically cheating???

I have started the impromptu "drop and give myself 5!" push up regime.  So doing 5, properly, in the kitchen whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, in the study waiting for the computer to boot up, in the lounge whilst playing back my messages etc. etc. and will go up to 7-8 over the weekend, 9-10 next week and so on until I build up the ability gradually.

This is the nightmare of being in the mid-30's and abusing the body since 18 years old.  I remember when full on circuit training would hardly dent me.  Now I am having to start push ups from 5!!!

Also, the very bottom bit of the old beer paunch is being very stubborn, even as the definition starts to kick in at the top.  It looks v. wierd!!!  Curse the human body!!!

Hmmm, liposuction on the bitch tits.  Isn't that technically cheating???

I have started the impromptu "drop and give myself 5!" push up regime.  So doing 5, properly, in the kitchen whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, in the study waiting for the computer to boot up, in the lounge whilst playing back my messages etc. etc. and will go up to 7-8 over the weekend, 9-10 next week and so on until I build up the ability gradually.

This is the nightmare of being in the mid-30's and abusing the body since 18 years old.  I remember when full on circuit training would hardly dent me.  Now I am having to start push ups from 5!!!

Also, the very bottom bit of the old beer paunch is being very stubborn, even as the definition starts to kick in at the top.  It looks v. wierd!!!  Curse the human body!!!

Daltons chin dimple wrote:

So doing 5, properly, in the kitchen whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, in the study waiting for the computer to boot up, in the lounge whilst playing back my messages etc. etc.

This could become mildly uncomfortable for others around you...in the coffee shop while waiting for your latte, in the elevator while waiting for your floor, in the watercloset while waiting to wash your hands, in the bedroom while waiting for her to remove her clothes...wait, that one might actually help the situation.

Drakemd wrote:

in the bedroom while waiting for her to remove her clothes...wait, that one might actually help the situation.

Yeah, I would look like I was limbering up!!! That means she would be twice as dissappointed!

I've started exercising more and watching what I eat.  *sigh* This getting older thing sucks.

Yeah, but we've had a good innings Jake.  The amount of shit I have put my body through in the last 17 years is unbelievable and the fact that it hasn't crapped out on me yet makes me feel like maybe it is time I treated it a bit better.

That said, it is Friday.  So the weekend has landed!!!  Once more into the breach....

I have to imagine your body has done at least a little crapping in seventeen years. Otherwise, you really *would* be huge.

And very unwell.  I would also probably smell like New Delhi.

Or maybe even <joke mode="Dalty">OLD DELI</joke>!

I don't get it.

How is that possible? It was in Dalty joke mode.

I think there is an error in his application.

It's an older code, but it checks out.