I will be updating this infrequently. I will sometimes repeat myself. Feel free to add your own current annoyances.
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Add CommentUtter pricks need friends too!
I so want to be like Ol' Beau Watkins that I have difficulty not appropriating his biography.
When I grow up, I want be like Beau.
I have never really understood the aversion of some of my Colonial cousins to TGI's, Applebees and the like. Unpretentious food, cooked to a reasonable standard at a cheap price, and you kind of know what to expect when you go in. Far better than the Russian roulette of shit restaurants you can gamble with elsewhere and outside of these strip mall chains.
....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Quasar wrote:
BTW, I've eaten at Applebee's too, and I don't apologize for it. Dine away!
Those are Ol' Beau Watkins's initials! Ol' Beau Thomas Watkins! Traditionally, the first male of every Watkins generation had been given Thomas as a first name, but his mother wouldn't have it. There were three Thomas Watkinses kicking around at the time. To keep them separate, they had been given nicknames: Big Tom, Little Tom, and Wee Tom. Why, just after the doctor placed Beau Watkins in Beau Watkins's mother's arms, he asked her what she intended to name the babe. "It's my understanding he will be the latest in a long line of Thomases," the doctor said. Ol' Beau Watkins's mother gave that doctor a look that could knock the stink off a skunk. "I'll be gat-damned," she said, "if anybody's gonna call my son 'Wee Wee Tom!'" She then stood up in her hospital bed and foot-punched the doctor in the trachea. "How about Beauregard?" asked Beau's father, striding over the convulsing pile of obstetrician on his way to join his wife in soaking in the warm glow of their child's halo. Ol' Beau just stared his daddy down. And that's when Beau Watkins spoke his first words: "How about you sit on a dick, Pops. It's Ol' Beau Watkins to you." And I'm sitting on a dick of my own if Beau's daddy didn't lower his head and say, "Yessir."
If Beau Watkin's parents were ahead of the times, they could have called him Wii Tom.
Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride.
Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies?
Faster and faster till everything dies.
Killing is our way of keeping alive.
- Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi... wrote:
"I'll be gat-damned," she said, "if anybody's gonna call my son 'Wee Wee Tom!'"
Little did she know that Ol' Beau T. Watkins would eventually earn this nickname anyway after peeing in his own mouth.
The Swollen Goi... wrote:
Ol' Beau just stared his daddy down. And that's when Beau Watkins spoke his first words: "How about you sit on a dick, Pops. It's Ol' Beau Watkins to you." And I'm sitting on a dick of my own if Beau's daddy didn't lower his head and say, "Yessir."
Then Ol' Beau Watkins grabbed ahold of a copy of Lacan that happened to be lying nearby, and peered through the window at an Applebee's Restaurant just a short distance away with his piercing, judging eyes, and he scowled.
Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride.
Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies?
Faster and faster till everything dies.
Killing is our way of keeping alive.
- Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
I think those restaurants are fine, but to be honest, it's not better than average. If I want average food, I'll go to a diner, where the service is welcoming and personal, my coffee cup is always full, and the waitress likely knows my name. If I want good food, I'll go to a nice family owned ethnic restaurant, and order the house specialty. I don't like Applebee's and the like because they hire incompetent children and fail to train them. I'm referring to servers, cooks, and management. Chain restaurants are notorious for it, so I tend to avoid them like the plague. I don't get out much, so when I do, I want service, atmosphere, and good food. I'm willing to trade on the atmosphere if I get the other two in abundance. I've got fifteen years in this business, so I tend to be a bit picky, but I'm an excellent customer, a huge tipper, and if I get what I'm looking for, it's to everyone's benefit. If I don't.... well, I have a large mouth and a lot of ears.
"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
kah wrote:
well, I have a large mouth and a lot of ears.
Extra ears: the first chink in kah's hotness armor. Extra toes I can overlook, and extra nipples, well, who doesn't go goosey for more nipples? Standard society accepted number of ears = cute. More or less than that = freaky.
Note: I am, of course, assuming you didn't literally mean you have extra ears growing on you, or I wouldn't have been so callous. If you do have extra ears, I was totally joking, I can't get enough of chicks with extra freaky mutant ears. Also, I almost overlooked the large mouth part: that's definitely sexy. I like it when they dont gag, and get watery eyed, and struggle to pull away.
Oh great, now Kah's flirting with another guy, Jakester's going to self-combust out of jealousy
We were watching Al-Quaeda, and all this time our security services should have been keeping watch on Jakester's throbbing nutsack!-Dalton's chin dimple
It's true, she has got a magical swirling ass of supreme hotness.
It is also true that, to Jakester, it remains as elusive as the road to Shangri-La.
....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Current Annoyance
People spelling AIDS with a lowercase "s." It doesn't stand for Acquired Immune Deficiencies.
Or, as we used to tease people in the playground when we were very young and ignorant:
Arse Injected Death Sentence
....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
In 1987 the band M.O.D. had a song with a similar lyric: "Anally inflicted death sentence."
Classy guys, all.
Think of me as a megaphone directed at God's eardrum, my child.
Current Annoyance:
Myself. For being completely unmotivated today even though I have lots to do.
....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The real annoyance should be all that stuff you have to do! That way, your lack of motivation would be perfectly justified.
kah wrote:
Lol. I do. I also have a great ass.
I think I need a road trip. NOW.
Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Mal Shot First wrote:
The real annoyance should be all that stuff you have to do! That way, your lack of motivation would be perfectly justified.
You are right. I feel better now.
....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Current annoyance:
Since pretty much everyone on the internet constantly fucks up the distinction between the possessive and the plural form in every imaginable context, I find myself compulsively double and triple checking every iteration of "it's" "its" "whose" "who's" etc., I find online. Why? Is it because the grammar despot inside me wants to revel in others' ignorance? No. It's primarily because the constant misuse has managed to make all instances begin to look similar somehow, and I'm trying to remind myself of the correct usage.
God damn you internet.
Think of me as a megaphone directed at God's eardrum, my child.
Guilty as charged. It is a massive language related blindspot I have. I am also unable to spell 'secretary' properly first time.
Really winds my secretary up!
....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Daltons chin dimple wrote:
Guilty as charged.
Actually, I haven't noticed examples of this at Corona much.
But I still check, even when the apostrophes are used (or omitted) correctly. OCD, I guess.
Think of me as a megaphone directed at God's eardrum, my child.
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Quasar
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Posts: 7588
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago
Didn't mean to hit your sore spot w/ Applebee's there, Goiter. But I was referring to your post, not your choice of restaurants lol. BTW, I've eaten at Applebee's too, and I don't apologize for it. Dine away!