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Current Annoyances

Posted by The Swollen Goi... on Friday, March 5, 2010

I will be updating this infrequently. I will sometimes repeat myself. Feel free to add your own current annoyances.

Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 7 years 25 weeks ago

So, Kah....are you working tonight? I'll be at your bar some time this evening.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 25 weeks ago

Don't you mean *she'll* be at *your* bar?

Watch out, Jakester. I hear she killed her a bar when she was only three.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 7 years 25 weeks ago

Jakester wrote:

So, Kah....are you working tonight? I'll be at your bar some time this evening.

Bet you won't ! :p

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

Quite an uneventful week(end) of work. Even with a band, it was slow. If I didn't get some great sex, this whole week would've been a wash. Yay for fuckbuddies.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Jack S. Pharaoh
Location:
Posts: 2231
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

Yeah, my week was the same, except for the great sex part. *pouts* Boo for fuckbuddies. Boo, I say.

kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

Also random, yet related annoyance, the missing top button on 90% of my pants. If I could just get two seconds to do it myself...

All this Beau Watkins shit is pretty fucking annoying, too. Until he grows to 90 feet tall and adopts an enormous blue animal that would feed Texas for at least a week if someone just said, "look, a giant, walking, tenderloin. Shoot it!", all references to Beau Watkins that imply he is of legendary status, or simply greater than anyone else, including Jakester, must stop, or I might have an anuerism. Imagine Jake without me.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

Does it burn? It will. Trust me.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
atrejub
Location:
Posts: 739
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

Ninety feet's nothin' for Ol' Beau Watkins.

He's all man. He's more than a man. Being within fifty feet of him triples the testosterone level of man and woman alike. The shock to the system is so severe that many men develop male pattern baldness on the spot.

Rogaine pays Beau Watkins five thousand dollars a pop just to walk into a room.

Why, Beau Watkins puts hair on his *own* chest.

kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

SIGH.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Jack S. Pharaoh
Location:
Posts: 2231
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

I have one major annoyance right now.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

kah wrote:

SIGH.

Just pretend every person who posts an Ol' Beau Watkins post is Jakester, and then pretend every occurrence of Ol' Beau Watkins is an occurrence of kah.

I think the kah posts still outweigh the Ol' Beau Watkins posts by four or five posts.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

Jakester wrote:

I have one major annoyance right now.

Yes, you do. :)

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

If Ol' Beau Watkins were a country, he'd be Chinamerussia.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

His foreign policy would be effective.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

If isolation was the objective.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

Ol' Beau Watkins does all right.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

My roommate bought the following and brought it home last week:

* * *

Thank you, Trader Joe's, for facilitating further oneupmanship among the superior salt crowd.

I bet all those folks who bought lifetime supplies of sea salt to show off to their wine and cheese party guests will quake with shame when they realize there's something more show-off-able than Plain Jane sea salt.

I'm glad Trader Joe's is kind enough to let me know its Himalayan Pink is a product of Pakistan. I'm gladder still to know it was packed in South Africa. I'd fuck a raging rhino dead before I'd buy Burmese-packed Himalayan Pink.

Did I mention I tried it? Tasted like salt.

Mmm, salt!

It was better than that iodized crap Morton sells. That stuff tastes like salty blood. This stuff just tastes like salt--but with a pinch of pink and a hint of the Himalayas.

Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

Tha fuck?

I don't understand humanity sometimes. If humans were meant to grind their salt on their own so they could put it on food, they would have kept living in caves and hunting for whatever critters they saw running around.

atrejub
Location:
Posts: 739
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

Current Annoyance
M. Night Shyamalan

I really like Avatar: The Last Airbender. Really, really like it. Which makes me sad when I see how Shyamalan is treating it in his movie adaptation. His offenses (thus far):

Changing the pronunciation of characters' names1. M. Night suffered through having his first name mispronounced as a child (how unique!), and thus feels that, since he is a South Indian director, he should make up for this traumatic experience by changing the pronunciation of three of the main character's names in the film (Aang, Sokka, and Uncle Iroh). Prior to knowing this, I thought that Jackson Rathbone was just being a horrible actor as he pronounced his character's name Sew-ka in interviews, instead of Sah-ka. I apologize to Mr. Rathbone; I now know that it's M. Night's fault. I don't understand changing the pronunciation of names so well-known and embedded in fan's minds, especially that of the lead character.

Removing the Humor Present in the Show2 A great thing about the show was the constant balance (present in all three seasons) of serious narrative and humor. Apparently, the humor was the weakest part of the show for M. Night, as, when it was being totally serious, it was "cooler and edgier", "darker and edgier" and "more Shakespearean". (Note: he uses "Shakespearean" a lot in that interview.) For example, M. Night plans to Aang, who is supposed to be a skinny little, goofy 12-year old, be "totally ripped" in the last movie, which is why he's fine with the long spans of time between filming the different movies. In a similar vein, under pressure to include the lemur Momo in the movie, M. Night is trying to give the character "a purpose." Comic relief characters can only be included if they ultimately serve a purpose (I hope this doesn't end in a tragic demise for Momo, honorably sacrificing himself or something...)

Changes to the Bending1, 3 - He is making it so that Ffrebenders, excepting high masters of exceptional quality, need to have fire present in order to bend, much like Katara has to have water present to waterbend. I wonder if this is why the murder of the Moon Spirit (in fish form) has been changed. In the original (spoilers), Zhao makes it seem like he is going to let the Moon Spirit go (releases her out of the bag he has placed her in, putting her back in the water), but then firebends across her back. In the movie, he supposedly punches her to death while holding her in the bag. Is he doing this because there is no fire present in the Spirit Oasis?

Exclusion of East Asian Elements Present in the Show in Favor of Hindu/Indian Elements2 - Again, this is because he is a South Indian director.

No Cabbage Merchant2 - There really should be at least a tiny tiny cameo. Even if it is mere seconds. Just one line: "Aw, my cabbages!"

I'll stop now. Feels good to rant sometimes. Sad thing is, I'll still go see the movie. *sigh*


Sources:
1. Bending the Mythos: M. Night's Changes to The Last Airbender (UGO)
2.Roundtable Discussion with M. Night Shyamalan (Last Airbender Fans)
3. Three AICN Readers -vs- THE LAST AIRBENDER

Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

atrejub wrote:

Sad thing is, I'll still go see the movie.

You shall do no such thing, dammit!! In fact, your saying that you will see The Last Airbender is going on my Current Annoyances list:

Current Annoyance
People who complain at length about a forthcoming movie and the way it's being directed, but who then end up paying money to the studio for creating such a craptacular piece of garbage. You're only encouraging them in their mischief. If you know it's going to be bad and you're not going to enjoy it, just sack up and download the damn thing, for Chrissake!

atrejub
Location:
Posts: 739
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

Mal Shot First wrote:

You shall do no such thing, dammit!! In fact, your saying that you will see The Last Airbender is going on my Current Annoyances list.

Perhaps I should have specified that part of the reason I will still go to see it is that I want it to be good, despite all it seems to have stacked against it. (Same reason I went to see the prequels. I am invested in that world.) I am more optimistic than pessimistic by nature, despite how it may sound.

I don't glut in awfulness the way Goiter does. I suppose he gets a free pass because he delights in letting movies piss him off. He's thrilled when he likes them and thrilled when he hates them. See, for example, his Remember the Clash of the Titans rant. The only time he's truly disappointed in a movie is when it's completely forgettable.

I guess I should be honored to make your Current Annoyance list, anyway. That's the closest I will get to Post of the Day. Though if I'm lucky, Jakester may eventually come around and start posting about wanting to do me. Maybe *he* will be kind enough to acknowledge that I am a chick.

Adam54
Location:
Posts: 2082
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

Current Annoyance:

Pseudo ephedrine and my far more annoying allergic reaction to it. Whoops.

atrejub
Location:
Posts: 739
Posted: 7 years 24 weeks ago

Current Annoyance
Auto-Tune.

I'm currently judging 7 videos made by high school students for a contest. The videos, in high school German, all are about the theme "Music in German-Speaking Countries" and a good number of these videos are employing Auto-Tune, much like "Auto-Tune the News" (example below), but with a lot less understandability. Ow, my ears.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 23 weeks ago

I just remembered back in 2004, when, for whatever reason, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's eleven-year-old cover medley of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World" exploded.

All of a sudden, people were coming out of the woodworks to tell you they had been fans of it "way back when" and that they were glad he was "finally getting noticed."

First of all, Fuckers, I don't care when you became a fan of anything you became a fan of. We're not all born with the superpower to know everything about everything the moment it occurs. We're all early and late to various fads. When you come into knowledge of a movie, book, song, or piece of artwork shouldn't make a bit of difference. Sure, it can be surprising if you find out about something later than everyone else. If you were to say upon listening to "Stayin' Alive," for example, that you had never heard it before, I would be fine with it. I would be a little surprised. I might be a tad incredulous, even, but I wouldn't be openly incredulous. After all, what motivation would you have for denying having heard the song? I can think of a few, and they make you out to be a douche. Since I want to pretend there are fewer douches out there than there probably are, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. (In this case, the more annoying douche would be the douche who responds to this scenario with, "Oh my *God*! You mean to tell me you've *never* heard "Stayin' Alive" before? What, have you been living under a rock the last thirty-two years, or something?") If you go on to say you've never heard it because you "avoid Disco at all costs," or some other similar bullshit, then I'll probably stop being privately incredulous and call you out, Your Royal Doucheness.

What was my "second of all"?

Oh, that's right. I hated that fucking cover medley. I don't think I had ever heard it before 2004. That's probably because I avoid the music of deceased Hawaiian ukulele players who do earthy chick cover medleys at all costs.

For about two months, I had to hear that damned medley everywhere I went.

That annoys me to this day.