Corona | Coming Attractions

Saw it on Saturday, and I was definitely underwhelmed. The movie was extra long, and the Batman time was extra less. Probably combining the storylines of The Dark Knight Returns and Knightfall where Bane breaks Batman's back wasn't the most ideal, as Batman has to make a comeback twice. First he's retired and has to make a comeback. Then again after Bane breaks his back. What results is Batman missing for most of the movie. And I was under the impression that Joseph Gordon Levitt was going to play a minor character. Instead he's basically the main character of the movie, only he doesn't do anything. When he first showed up and told Bruce Wayne he knew he was Batman, my first thought was he was going to be Robin. But that couldn't be, because surely I would've heard something about if Robin was going to be in this movie. So maybe he was going to be the next Batman, like Azrael or something. That final scene with him on the bridge accomplishing nothing was pretty much par for the course for him. I guess he got all the kids on the bus so they could stare at Batman as he flew past. Good job! Also, I figured that Talia chick that Bruce put in charge of Wayne Enterprise was going to be bad, but then when she didn't do anything bad for awhile, I figured I must've been wrong. I did like the Talia twist, though. It occurred to me that Bane was basically subbing in for characters from the various comic storylines. For The Dark Knight Returns, he subbed in for that mutant guy who beat the shit out of Batman when he came out of retirement. Then he played himself in Knightfall. Then he played the role of Ra's Al Ghul's giant bodyguard for when Talia was revealed. And I hated Bane's voice. I thought he was doing a Sean Connery parody impersonation.

A couple other things. It was great to have Cillian Murphy back, and the line "Death by exile!" was pretty hilarious, though naturally it made no sense that Gordon would be upset that he had to try and escape over thin ice as opposed to just being put to death. I mostly liked the first act, mostly because of Selina Kyle, but waiting for Batman's second comeback was a bit grueling, and when Wayne made his first attempt at the wall, I was thinking the movie could finally get back on track. But then he failed, so natually I knew it'd take 3 attempts for him to succeed. Then on his 2nd attempt, the music starts to swell triumphantly, I just sat there bored waiting for the inevitable fail. Also, when Selina took off before the big fight, it was so fucking obvious she'd come back. They didn't sell that one at all. I was impressed they made Hardy look bigger through camera angles and presumably having Harding stand on boxes, but then when he and Bats was duking it out on the steps, Bats was taller than Bane. And I can't believe at how one-sided the first fight with Bane was (despite Batman landing about a hundred punches) that his plan for a rematch was fighting mano y mano, only targeting the thing on Bane's face. (Surely he hit that thing a few times the first time around and couldn't even get Bane to blink). If Bat's only hope is disabling the face device, surely come up with some doodad that'll help out prior to the fight? And then use it!

I've been reading some of the complaints viewers had at SHH. How did Wayne get from the pit back to Gotham, and how did he get back into Gotham while it was on lockdown? (a scene showing him getting into Gotham would've definitely been a plus in my book) Why did Bats fake his death at movie's end? (other than because he did it in The Dark Knight Returns). Someone suggested that instead of lock himself up in his manion for years, they go with the idea that Wayne immerses himself even more into the Batman persona and becomes a bit more reckless when dealing with the criminal element, so that when he meets up with Bane, he's more physically fit but out of control when Bane defeats him, not some out of shape, near-cripple that Bane dispatches with ease.

Personally I just think it was a major mistake to try and shoehorn elements from The Dark Knight Returns into this movie. I don't think it meshed well, and the stuff from that comic just seem to be there because they were there in the comic, and don't really make sense in the movie's context. Someone pointed out that it was a douche move to not let Alfred know he'd faked his death, and I vividly remembered Alfred (after skipping out on most of the movie) wracked with sobs at Bruce's grave. But I guess they had to have the scene at the outdoor cafe that they'd alluded to at the beginning of the movie. And of course the fake death, because that fixed so many things. Even if he decided it was best for Batman to appear to be dead, why fake his own death as well? Why did Bruce Wayne have to appear to be dead also, other than to attract suspicion that he and Batman died at the same time, so they were probably the same person?

I'm going to have to dig up the money to see this damned thing. It sounds like a perfect afternoon.

Thanks for branching out in the other forums, Q.

I expected to see Jubbers posting in here instead of you, saying you were avoiding all TDKR spoiler threads.

Just borrow a little bit of cash from Jubboiter's college fund. You can pay it back later...

There's no college fund. Not yet. We're not in a position to start one.

I was avoiding spoilers, but folks on AICN have a dickish new hobby of posting spoilers in the subject lines of Talkbacks completely unrelated to the movie they're spoiling. It started with Prometheus. In the case of TDKR, there was a comment lockdown in some TDKR posts after the shootings. This made them even more willing to spoil the movie outside of the TDKR posts. So far, the spoilers have all been either no-brainers or confirmations of old rumors. Nothing surprising, and nothing that really recommends the movie to me.

So you can get back on AICN. You must be as happy as a pig in shit!

I was always able to see everything. It's just that I was unable to comment.

I am once again able to comment. We'll see how long it lasts.