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Depressing Revelation

Posted by The Swollen Goi... on Sunday, August 30, 2009

Firefox displays URLs in order from most frequently visited to least frequently visited, assuming you aren't constantly clearing your history. This display is ever self-correcting, ever narrowing as you continue to add characters. That is, in a nutshell, how it seems to work to me.

There is a little more to it. I've noticed that if a letter appears anywhere in a particularly frequently visited site's URL, or even in a phrase in the site's description, Firefox will put that result at the top. Your top result might be megadownload.net, for example, when you type "R" in the field--even though "R" is nowhere to be found in the URL. If this were to happen, it would be because 1.) the site's description reads "MegaDownload.net - megaupload.com and rapidshare.com search engine," and 2.) you have visited it more than any other site with the letter "R" featured as either part of the URL or the site description.

If you were to enter another letter following the "R" that does not follow an "R" in either the site's URL or its description, it would drop that site from the results. Following the "R" with an "O," for example, would drop the aforementioned site from the results, and another site with these characters (together, and in this order) somewhere in either the URL or site description (Rotten Tomatoes, for example) would take its place.

So, anyway, earlier today, I typed in "C" and followed it with "N." The reason? I wanted to go to CNN.com. Surprisingly, CNN.com was not the top hit. The top hit was CNDb.com. Apparently, I've been visiting the Celebrity Nudity Database with greater frequency than I have been seeking out news.

In my defense, whenever I log in to Yahoo! Mail, I see the day's top news stories. If you've been following my reposts of those news stories, however, you will see that they are reposts of the "Entertainment News," specifically. That is not Yahoo! Mail's default. No, that is a personal preference. If I want "real" news, I seek it out at CNN.com. Whether or not "real" news is to be found there, and not some other site, is, of course, debatable. What is not debatable, apparently, is my preference of information regarding celebrity nudity in film over my desire to seek out non-entertainment-centric news.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 4040
Posted: 1 year 2 days ago

All right, so I'm not quite sure how it works. I think it might at least work in a manner similar to the manner in which I describe it working above, though.

Does anyone know?

Is anyone willing to disabuse me of my new-found conviction that it must absolutely be the case that I visit CNDb.com more often than CNN.com?

HI MY NAME IS GUS
Location:
Posts: 322
Posted: 1 year 2 days ago

Your long, involved and completely opaque introduction didn't fool me: this was all a goddam plug for the CMDb. You corporate shill. You disgust me.

How much did they promise you? Did you enjoy your 30 pieces of silver?

Think of me as a megaphone directed at God's eardrum, my child.
The Swollen Goi...
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Posts: 4040
Posted: 1 year 2 days ago

They promised me a good bit more than that. They promised me "Schenkel's entire" (I'm pretty sure that's what they said; sometimes I don't listen too good), which has got to be worth a fucking fortune. I have no idea what I'm going to do with it. I would have been happy with far less. I would have been happy with the fewer than half the covers he did for Frank.

I'm selling the one he did for the Captain as soon as it's in my possession. That one always creeped me out.

HI MY NAME IS GUS
Location:
Posts: 322
Posted: 1 year 2 days ago

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

They promised me a good bit more than that. They promised me "Schenkel's entire" (I'm pretty sure that's what they said; sometimes I don't listen too good) which has got to be worth a fucking fortune. I have no idea what I'm going to do with it. I would have been happy with far less. I would have been happy with the fewer than half the covers he did for Frank. I'm selling the one he did for the Captain as soon as it's in my possession. That one always creeped me out.

"Schenkel's entire" made me think of "Heiße Schenkel blutjunger Töchter".

Cuz I'm all about the made-up porno names.

Which brings us back to CMDb.

Cus I'm all about the synergy.

I don't actually know what the fuck "synergy" means.

What about Cal Schenkel?

Think of me as a megaphone directed at God's eardrum, my child.
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 4040
Posted: 1 year 2 days ago

My brain's trying to tell me, now, that I was offered "Shekels of Tyre." I hope my brain's wronger than my not-brain. My not-brain's the thing that tells me to do things and keeps me going when my brain's not telling me to do things or keeping me going. I try to keep my not-brain switched on the majority of the time, but my brain has a way of having its way on occasion.

Stupid Tyrian Shekels. What the Hell kind of lunch can a person buy with Shekels, anyway? They're worth less than half a toddler's handful of pubes outside of Lebanon. Inside, thirty of them might get me two sips of a generous Jack's Lebanese Coca-Cola.

kah
Location:
Posts: 585
Posted: 1 year 2 days ago

I have lots of sex. With another person.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 2573
Posted: 1 year 2 days ago

I think I'm going to become an epic serial killer. I will only kill people who have banged Kah. I think I can rack up quite the body count.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Strider
Location:
Posts: 882
Posted: 1 year 2 days ago

Does that mean the only way to stop your killing spree would be to convince Kah to let you bang her, therefore causing you to have to kill yourself on principle?

Just asking....

www.geekshowentertainment.com
kah
Location:
Posts: 585
Posted: 1 year 2 days ago

Just in two nights of work last week, a chick offered to make my twosome a threesome and a guy offered 500 bucks to see my boobies. Got a lot of time on your hands, Jake?

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
KingVoyeur
Location:
Posts: 515
Posted: 1 year 2 days ago

Did you take the 500? Please say yes.

I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late start without me. - Tallulah Bankhead
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 2573
Posted: 1 year 2 days ago

Strider wrote:

Does that mean the only way to stop your killing spree would be to convince Kah to let you bang her, therefore causing you to have to kill yourself on principle?Just asking....

Kinda where I thought it'd end up, yeah.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 2573
Posted: 1 year 2 days ago

Maybe my whole Kah infatuation is overrated. There's a chick at the office who is a big horror movie geek, and she's pretty damn cool. I've got something scary to show her, let me tell you...

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
kah
Location:
Posts: 585
Posted: 1 year 1 day ago

LOL. You think you can get over me with some silly horror movie geek? One that can take out a restraining order against you and make work uncomfortable since you'll have to do it in a cubicle relocated to the men's room?

Whatever. You're just pissed I'm going to see Adam this month.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 2573
Posted: 1 year 1 day ago

Oh no, baby. We've got offices. With doors that lock.
And I always park near my office so I never have to enter through the lobby. I can just stop seeing her if it gets uncomfortable. And at least we'd be doing it.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
kah
Location:
Posts: 585
Posted: 1 year 1 day ago

Have fun with that.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 2573
Posted: 1 year 1 day ago

That's the idea.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 3735
Posted: 50 weeks 2 days ago

This seems like a one-way ticket to tearful e-mails in the office and epic self-harming each time you fail to respond to her.

Never, ever, get your honey where you make your money!

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"