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Drag me to Hell

Posted by mckracken on Thursday, June 11, 2009

damn, i cant begin to describe what a fuckin mess this movie is. It seems like its got sam raimi written all over it, it seems like its really culled some cool slimey, muddy effects from all three Evil Dead flicks but at the end of the day its like mentioning Evil Dead in the review for Drag me to Hell is like commiting the ultimate sin because its ...JUST... that... HORRIBLE.

yes Christine Brown pisses off some old gypsy woman, yes. and yes she offers up a blood sacrafice, yes, and yes it doesnt work (no surprise) and yes if you cant see the "shocking twist" coming at least 25 minutes before the end of the movie then you've either 1) not been paying attention or 2) you're completely and utterly stupid.

This movie is just predictable... I think it relies more on showing spooky shadows, loud screeching and shocking thumping with all the gooey effects to scare you rather than deliver some real scares instead of a stupid attacking doily...that KEEPS ON attacking throughout the movie (dear God.. its like the old creepy denture wearing lady got bumped to a second string because a doily stole the show!)

this movie is TRUELY HORRIBLE. it would be bad from any other director... but it's gut wrenchingly HORRIBLE coming from the director of Evil Dead, Sam Raimi.

There is NO hope that Spiderman 4 will be any good... this guy is just out of tricks and peitering along on fumes.

Scotia
Location:
Posts: 44
Posted: 8 years 18 weeks ago

Can't say I agree with you. I thought the movie was just about perfect and a hell of a lot of fun. Raimi has made no secret that DMTH is a return to the campy horror that made him famous. The vomit and slime, the absolutely disgusting old woman, the talking goat. Hell, he even threw in a deadite dance. That's all classic Raimi stuff. Same with the jump scares and visual tilts which normally turn me off, but in this film it's obvious that the director knows what he is doing since none of them felt cheap or ineffective. They scared the shit out of me, in a good fun way.

And really, the "shocking twist" was never intended to fool anybody. The ending was telegraphed because Raimi wanted the audience in on the gag. That's his shtick. He's not trying to pull a Shyamalan here. He wants us all laughing and clapping and shouting "oh shit" at the same time. Makes for a great movie theatre experience.

mckracken
Location:
Posts: 965
Posted: 8 years 18 weeks ago

Alison Lohman is NO Bruce Campbell, I mean when Bruce got turned into a Deadite in Evil Dead 2 it felt like nothing was sacred (and in turn, nothing should be sacred in a Raimi flick) but Ash rebounded and beat the living shit outta the demons that possessed his ass.

Christine Brown spends 3 days (a period of time that any normal person cant get anything done in) wandering around aimlessly getting the shit beat out of her by an invisible entity and in the end she 1)falls on the railroad tracks of an oncoming train and 2) gets dragged down into hell. Do I care? Nope. Not really, I dont... I couldnt muster one iota of feeling for this chick, she's stupid to the core and she acts like your stereotypical dumb blonde. Just once I would have liked to see her kick some real demon ass... just once, and that once should have come at the very end of the movie when she actually confronts the entity in a dramatic show of unrelenting force... only to get dragged to hell anyway. Had this chick actually put up a fight, maybe I would have liked her character more.

Mrs. Ganush: dont get me wrong, she's great while she's a alive.. but then she goes and gets dead for 3/4th of the movie. Even in death, the gypsy woman's Doily (wind and leaves) still torments Christine Brown, why? because Christine Brown is a clutz that tripped over her coffin and got a mouthful of slime from a corpse. (cool effect, unfortunatly I just didnt care enough about Christine Brown)

Switching her button for a coin? again, let me repeat - she aint no Ash, at least Ash could fight his way out of all the dumb things he did, he became the unlikely hero. Christine Brown is definitly NOT the hero, she's a stupid clutz dumb blonde bimbo that will die and nobody will care about her...

except Justin Long's Clay Dalton (the sympathetic boyfriend) except that HE's no Ash either. he just paid $10,000 to "the love guru"... why? who knows... he wasnt invited to the paranomal party even though he paid for it.

the graveyard scene... didnt we see this exact same thing in Poltergeist?

Rham Jas: good for the most part although I thought that Blondie found him and his services and decided to enlist his help VERY quickly... the end of the first night she decides to have her future read???

Mr Jacks: Gheesh I knew bosses were tough, but ths prick is one tough A-hole. I hated this character A LOT. Totally unsympathetic and a major douchebag prick and he's not even trying.

Stu Rubin: scheming and backstabbing I loved, but when he comes to meet with Christine Brown about "the confrontation" and HE'S CRYING??? Oh lord gimme a break... plus WHY would he sell Christine's biggest client to the credit union's compedators to FRAME HER so that he'll get the Bank Manager promotion instead of her? Even in an alternate reality where things done make any sense... THAT doesnt make any sense. Everything pointed to him getting the promotion (except for the one scene where Mr Jacks said Brown was at the top of the list) then Christine was quickly loosing her sanity, spraying blood on her Boss plus Stu seemed to be fairly confident that his ass-kissing and brown nosing to Mr Jacks would get him the Manager job, why would he deliberately and suddenly sabatage HER efforts, if he thought there as a higher than 50% chance of it backfiring on him??

Milos: when demons attack, his job is simple, gut the goat. period. Epic fail. By the way, if ANYBODY should be doing the deadite dance and floating 5 feet off the ground it should have been Clay Dalton about 45 seconds prior to being totally RAPED by that demonic goat. lets kick things up a notch, shall we? in 1977 a woman was BRUTALLY RAPED by demonic TREE branches and vines and yet Clay Dalton cant get possessed and do the deadite dance and get raped by a demonic goat?

by the way, that demonic goat was totally histerical, I enjoyed all 40 seconds of it.

could it be that I hated the three stars of this flick with a passion? I hated Christine Brown, I hated Clay Dalton and i hated Mr Jacks and Stu Rubin too.