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Epic Dark Knight Rises Review

Posted by The Swollen Goi... on Monday, September 10, 2012

will have to wait.

Jubboiter is among us.

Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

She breathes our air.

She walks our streets.

Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

Her bottom's bare,

She sucks her mother's teats.

neglet
Location:
Posts: 1434
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

That scanning is awful: Her bottom's bare / she sucks mom's teats 

Her face is fair / No law she metes

All men beware / for she defeats.

Not great verse, but Goits didn't give us a very versatile meter to play with.

Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

Whoever said that I'm not allowed to change the meter for the last line of the stanza? The variation breaks up the monotony by switching up the iambic diameter pattern into an iambic trimeter. Such practice isn't unheard of (limericks do it all the time, albeit within a stanza).

Besides, I would argue that "She sucks her mother's teats" flows more naturally than "She sucks mom's teats," and the added foot gives the reader a sense that the stanza ends here.

Mostly I thought it would be fun to elaborate on Goiter's post, which is why I was hoping that my fellow posters wouldn't be such sticklers for perfect symmetry in poetry and would simply go along with it and try to contribute their own lines.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

If only her mother's teats flowed as naturally as the line Mal wrote.

We have time, I guess. It's gonna take time--a whole lot of precious time. It's gonna take patience and time to do it right.

Space Tycoon
Location:
Posts: 2464
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

Uh, how about "Congradulations."

Not very creative, I suppose, but does get the point across.

jraven56
Location:
Posts: 335
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

 I will also say congratulations!

I await the call to serve our new master.

Someone told me I should Blog...jraven56.wordpress.com/
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

 I can see it now:

In-laws - "That kid needs some toya!"

Goiter - "I gave her a knife!"

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

 ALL HAIL!

 

 

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

 I presume the mother of the future enslaver of mankind is also well?  Please give Jubbers my best.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Drakemd
Location:
Posts: 1905
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

Goiter, I half expected you to create yet another identity on this forum to announce the birth.  It would, of course, have been Jubboiter that would have announced her own birth and begin the process of enslaving us all.

I offer my congratulations on the birth, but give a thumbs down on the effort put into the announcement.  And we all know that you can't use sleep deprevation as an excuse.  We also know that you can, and probably will, use laziness as an excuse.

Turn your head and cough!
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

I'm too lazy to use the laziness excuse.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

 I have seen the picture on the Portal of Doom that Jubboiter understands us puny humans refer to as 'The Book of Faces'.

 

I must admit that I didn't expect the future destroyer of me, my friends, my family and my country to be so............. cute.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

She looks just like me!

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

 As her minion, your likeness may serve you well.  Until she offers you up to her enemies as some kind of substitute/ruse/game before she smites them from the face of the Earth.  She will not pity you.  That is for the weak.

Also, she prefers the name 'Mr Fuggles' for her favourite teddy bear.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

Also, her favorite teddy bear is a shark.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

No, not a plush one.

Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

A showdown between Jubboiter and Ol' Beau Watkins will usher in the end of days.

Corporal_Hicks
Location:
Posts: 1664
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

This thread seems the appropriate opportune for me to announce my choice to lay Batman in the next Batman film: Sylvester Stallone.

Sent from Dalton's IPad.
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

 Greyed up as a weathered, grizzled Bruce from The Dark Knight Returns, then it could work.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Drakemd
Location:
Posts: 1905
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

Why would Sylvester Stallone want to have sex with Batman?  Interesting plot twist.

Turn your head and cough!
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

 'Yo Adrian!!!'

'Erm, no...... It's Bruce.  Now don't talk with your mouth full.'

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
neglet
Location:
Posts: 1434
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

In the future, Jubboiter will rule over all and smite any Hollywood exec who dares allow Stallone in any role requiring him to speak.

Corporal_Hicks
Location:
Posts: 1664
Posted: 9 years 5 weeks ago

The Batman of Jubboiter's generation will take on a struggle against mankind's greatest threat: sexting.

Sent from Dalton's IPad.