Corona | Coming Attractions

Been there, done that.  Too awful to be fun!

Aside from a crime-lab setup in the Batcave, does Bats even need a super-cool "bat-computer" anymore? 

It would be pretty cool to set a Batman movie in a different time period.

 He needs 'Bat-Item' signs on everything.

He needs a Bat-Labelmaker.

:)

 The nipples on my batsuit (my batsuit bat-nipples?) are hard.

 And we're derailed.....

Took us long enough! At least we're still talking about Batman... or rather, his nipples.

The bat nipples wouldn't have gotten such criticism if they'd just had a functionary role in the films.

 Like providing bat-milk when he got bat-thirsty?

 Dick Grayson suckling on Bruce Wayne's teat, whilst Alfred looks lovingly on?

^ This is somebody's fetish.

I should probably rewatch The Dark Knight Rises in the near future to remind myself why I liked it. Listing out all my gripes had the predictable effect of making me think maybe I didn't like it as much as I thought I did.

Time to bring out the big guns. Talia's death scene! Head plops down in fakest death scene filmed in the last decade, while Batman, Gordon and Catwoman all sit there staring open mouthed at her. Of course this was right after her truck flipped over, and Gordon walks out of the back of the truck as if nothing had happened.

He was doing Parkour the whole time. There's no way for a person to get hurt while doing Parkour. It's hurt proof.

So, with a time-machine and the ability to influence Nolan and the team:

1)  Re-cast the Joker, and have him as the plotter / mastermind using Bane as muscle whilst the Joker is in Arkham / Blackgate.

2)  Thus allowing Talia to be completely removed.  Fine, have Bane be from the League of Shadows, hence how he knows that Bruce is Bats.

3)  Completely remove the prison / hole element.  Once Bats is broken, have Alfred recover him and take him to the cave to mend, meanwhile....

4)  Wayne Manor is outside the city, so Bane and the Joker can still pull their No Mans Land shit.

6)  Whilst mending, we can see Bruce do some of his "World's Greatest Detectoring" to get to the bottom of the bad guys scheme, and uncover Bane's backstory if absolutely necessary.  All the while trying to come up with a plan to stop them.

7)  Completely remove John Blake.  Gordon is the only cop we need here.  He is the guy risking his life working behind enemy lines in the newly isolated Gotham.  He is the guy getting intel and supplies to the trapped cops underground.  He is the guy working to get Bats information so they can draw up a plan together before Bats returns to full health.

8)  Have Bats / Gordon communicating on the sly right from the very beginning, even though Bats is an outlaw after the Harvey incident.  Have an intercepted communication, plus info from the Joker, be the mechanism that Bane uses to expose the truth about Dent.

I was thinking of ways to make it a worse movie than it was, and I had the idea of making it so that the big reveal at the end is that Bane is Ra's al Ghul. He lost his hair thanks to the train wreck, see, had to undergo plastic surgery and had to have the face thing attached. He also shrank two or three feet to throw Bats off the scent. I'm not sure how he shrank, but my guess is that some fancy ninja shit was involved.
 

 He lost the bottom of his legs along with his hair?