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Facebook Chat Highlights

Posted by The Swollen Goi... on Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Sometimes you have a chat with a person and you feel like sharing that chat with other people.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 7 years 26 weeks ago

Sometimes you don't.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 26 weeks ago

Here's an excerpt from a chat I had with a friend earlier in the day. He had just read the opening fourth of the first chapter of a western I'm writing. I was telling him that I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to delete the first three paragraphs.

Goiter's Friend
You could always begin with "He had doo doo in his butt-crack."

Goiter
"He had doo doo on his balls because he always wiped back to front. Also, he was a fat fucker."

Goiter's Friend
that's gold.

"He was so fat his nut sack was fat."

"That's pretty fucking fat."

This hole once said "Let me suck your fat nut sack, you fucking fat fuck."

Goiter
"Fatty Fellows had to push back the fat on either side of his dick to piss. If he pushed hard enough, he could expose half the glans. Sometimes he just stood in the bathtub, arms akimbo, and let the piss roll out and drip off his balls."

Goiter's Friend
"It took Snatman eighty-three minutes to get all the diarrhea off of his scrotum."

Goiter
"He had a brush for his ball doo doo and a brush for his hair. By which I mean he had one brush."

"Sometimes he forgot about it. It would stay wedged between his thighs for weeks."

Goiter's Friend
that's good

ball doo doo

Goiter
He calls one ball "Doo Doo Ball 1" and the other "Doo Doo Ball 2."

Goiter's Friend
"I'mma eat the doo doo offya bawwz," said the lady in the pink evening gown at the Number Six Dance.

Goiter
His balls were already in her mouth, so she had trouble with the consonants.

Goiter's Friend
Everyone speaks in vowels with a ball sack in their mouth.

Goiter
You ate doo doo off my balls at a very strange time in my life.

Goiter's Friend
Whoa whoa whoa. You are pointing a gun at your own balls.

Goiter
Fart Club.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 7 years 26 weeks ago

 This didn't happen 'cept in your head.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 26 weeks ago

This didn't happen? Incept in your head.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 7 years 26 weeks ago

 If they ever crack true Inception, and use it to implant shitty cowboy balls into our memories, it will be a tragic waste of science.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 26 weeks ago

It'll be nuts.

neglet
Location:
Posts: 1434
Posted: 7 years 26 weeks ago

 I have no trouble believing this is an actual Goiter fb chat.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 26 weeks ago

She's chatted with me, so she knows from experience.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 7 years 26 weeks ago

Cowboy balls.  With poo.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 7 years 26 weeks ago

I knew it was all made up as soon as I read "Goiter's friend".

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 26 weeks ago

I was going to post a version of Quasar's post code-tagged as a Quasar quote, but I decided to wait it out and see if he actually posted it. He did. Good ol' reliable Quasar.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 7 years 26 weeks ago

 You are like some kind of lazy psychic.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 7 years 26 weeks ago

If I post predictably enough often enough, I'll finally get Goits to make all my posts for me. Then I will control everything.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 7 years 26 weeks ago

 That is what Jubboiter wants you to think.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"