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Important life lessons from Barney Stinson

Posted by Daltons chin dimple on Sunday, March 3, 2013

“The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she’s 17 years, 11 months old.”

Space Tycoon
Location:
Posts: 2464
Posted: 8 years 33 weeks ago

Ah, close enough.

Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 8 years 33 weeks ago

If there's grass on the field, play ball!

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 8 years 33 weeks ago

What Jakester means is that if there's pubic hair surrounding the labia, push your penis into the vaginal opening.

I know you know what he means, but I figured I'd spell it out anyway.

I don't do euphemism.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 8 years 33 weeks ago

"Spell it out" is a euphemism.

Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 8 years 32 weeks ago

 Was that a euphemism?

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 8 years 32 weeks ago

“In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.”


....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 8 years 32 weeks ago

 "Dude, lots of chicks think that architects are hot. Think about that, you create something out of nothing. You’re like God. There is no one hotter than God."

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 8 years 32 weeks ago

 “God, it’s me, Barney. I know we don’t talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me.”

 
....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 8 years 32 weeks ago

God's name isn't God.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 8 years 32 weeks ago

 Zuul?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Drakemd
Location:
Posts: 1905
Posted: 8 years 32 weeks ago

 I would like to see Barney Stinson dress up his penis like Zod, so he can go up to a girl in the bar and say, "Kneel before Zod!"

Turn your head and cough!
Drakemd
Location:
Posts: 1905
Posted: 8 years 32 weeks ago

 (If you are wondering, it does end with a slap to the face.)  Boy that hurt.  But now I have a tiny, tiny Zod costume.  How cool is that?

Turn your head and cough!
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 8 years 32 weeks ago

Make sure Little Zod doesn't find himself rubbing up against a Super Man.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 8 years 32 weeks ago

He'd never admit to the costume being tiny.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 8 years 32 weeks ago

I am trying to work out the mechanics of a Clark Kent transformation complete with glasses....

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"