He won't be on the boards for another eight hours or so. Do your worst.
Edit: This was once the "The Make-Fun-of-Dalty-While-He's-Vacationing Thread." I've re-Christened it. Pray I don't re-Christen it further.
Edit: I re-Christened it further.
Edit: I re-re-Christened it.
Edit: It's more re-Christened, now, than man . . . twisted and evil.
I just want him to know we care.
I want him to wake and stumble into the comforting arms of our intense loathing--which intense loathing we've tastefully disguised, naturally, as playful ribbing.
(There's a period in my thread title, and I can't get rid of it. Damn it, Dalty! It's all your fault.)
Don't bother with any of that milquetoast mockery. You gotta hit him hard, so's he can feel it.
I'm off to dinner. I expect to see some through-and-through nastiness directed toward his sleeping form when I get back.
He thinks shark movies should be good but doesn't like them because they are simple-minded movies about people being chased by shark(s). Yeah.
Dalty's so dumb, he doesn't even live in America!
There's a lot of nasty shit you can pin on Hitler.
You can't pin Dalty on Hilter, though, so Hitler can't be so bad.
You can't really pin shit on Hilter, these days.
Not a whole lot can be pinned to ash.
Shit sure can't be pinned to ash.
The Swollen Goi... wrote:
There's a lot of nasty shit you can pin on Hitler.
To add insult to injury, Goiter is typing this while taking a shit.
Why would I want to make fun of that tea-drinking, Queen-loving, soccer-watching, driving-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-road, lying-about-his-own-death wanker?
atrejub wrote:
To add insult to injury, Goiter is typing this while taking a shit.
Believe it or not, that's actually true.
I found this little blurb about Dalty on ListVerse's "Top 10 Most Evil Women":
"The first Australian woman to be sentenced to a natural life term without parole, Daltons chin dimple had a history of violence in relationships. She mashed the dentures of one of her ex-husbands and slashed the throat of another husband’s eight-week-old puppy before his eyes. A heated relationship with John Charles Thomas Price became public knowledge with an Apprehended Violence Order that Price had filed against dimple and ended with dimple stabbing Price to death with a butcher’s knife. He had been stabbed at least 37 times, both front and back, with many of the wounds penetrating vital organs. She then skinned him and hung his “suit†from the door frame in the living room, cut off his head and put it in the soup pot, baked his buttocks, and prepared gravy and vegetables to accompany the ‘roast’. The meal and a vindictive note were set out for the children, luckily discovered by police before they arrived home."
Geez, Folks. This has been a poor turnout. Dalty will be on Corona in approximately three hours. I was expecting more.
Sorry, Dalty. I guess your fellow posters (yours truly excluded, natch) just don't care enough about you to trash talk you in your absence.
I hope that doesn't make you feel inadequate, or discourage you from posting your trademark inanities.
Dalty wrote a poem about himself a few weeks ago. He wasn't too sure about it, so he e-mailed it to me and asked me to give him some constructive criticism. It was crap and I was busy, so I never bothered to respond. If you guys want to workshop it for him, though, be my guest. Here it is:
"Ode on a British Dalty (By Which I Mean Me)"
Dalty's a concept
By which we measure
Our pain.
I'll say it again.
Dalty's a concept
By which we measure
Our pain.
Yeah.
He don't believe in Jakester.
He don't believe in Goiter.
He don't believe in Quasar.
He don't believe in Spacey.
He don't believe in Hicksey.
He don't believe in Strider.
He don't believe in Kaeos.
He don't believe in Voyeur.
He don't believe in GUS.
He don't believe in Mal.
He don't believe in kah.
He don't believe in atrejub.
He don't believe in mckracken.
He don't believe in Corona.
He don't believe in Jack.
He just believes in him--
Zim zala bim!--
And deceiving trim.
The lie is over.
What can he say?
The lie is over!
That South African psycho
Saw him on the subway.
He was a jizz master,
But was, frankly, a bit salty.
He was an ewok,
But now he's just Dalty.
Sua maxima culpa!
(It's all his fault-y.)
The lie is over!!!
Yeah, well I'm awake now bitches. Rrrrraaaaaaaggggghhhhh! Fuck you all, fuck you all very much!!!!! ;)
kah wrote:
Please. Too easy. The kid has to look himself in the mirror every day just to shave. Hard to top that with mere words.
Harsh, but true. Every morning I look into my own cold, dead eyes and I cry a little whilst I shave. But that might also be because I am too tight to buy a new razor.
Only two things upset me about this thread:
1) That Jakester hasn't even bothered to stop by and call me a c*nt.
2) That Goiter was actually thinking about me whilst on the toilet. There is not enough water that the universe could pump through my shower to make me feel clean after reading that.
Ooh, sweet! Now that Dalty's here, I can start a thread-specific, running Dalty "whilst" count!
Thread-Specific, Running Dalty "Whilst" Count
2
omicron wrote:
Why would I want to make fun of that tea-drinking, Queen-loving, soccer-watching, driving-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-road, lying-about-his-own-death wanker?
3) That I fucking hate tea!
Edit to Previous Post:
Was given unique opportunity to add another "whilst" to the counter, since Dalty posted a second one while I was posting my "Thread-Specific, Running Dalty 'Whilst' Count" post.
And I was posting this one whilst you were posting that one.
Also, I think that this thread needs more W-hill W-heaton.
When I saw that there were 7 "new posts" in this thread, my first thought was that Goiter had edited one post seven times.
I was pleasantly surprised to discover he had only edited 1 post 1 time.
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kah
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Posts: 862
Posted: 10 years 46 weeks ago
Please. Too easy. The kid has to look himself in the mirror every day just to shave. Hard to top that with mere words.