Corona | Coming Attractions

They should make another Jaws ride, except they should make it on open water, and it should be scary as all hell. Jaws should absolutely terrorize the boat, ultimately breaking it in half. People should be anchored into their seats, and their half of the boat should start to sink. The other half of the boat will be filled with actors pretending to be tourists on the ride. They will be drowned, electrocuted, or eaten. 

Jaws should swim around to the sinking half of the boat and chomp as the boat continues to sink. Jaws will get closer and closer to chomping on the first row. Then a control guy in the back will shout something about how the ride is malfunctioning. He'll go to the front and act like he's trying to unlock the first row so they can make their escape. He'll slip, of course, and be eaten by Jaws. He'll shout from inside Jaws that he's OK and that he thinks he can turn Jaws off, but then there will be an explosion, a scream, and a spray of blood.

From here, I'm not sure if everything should go back to normal or if we should just kill the tourists. Smug bastards. Half of them probably think it's all part of the show.

 Your career as a Disney Imagineer beckons.  It will be a marvellous career, until the global chainsaw shortage really starts to bite.

 They made a ride out of fucking Transformers???????????

 They closed down Jaws and made a ride out of Transformers????????????

 Transformers???????????????

 Do those ones at Six Flags that are themed but not movie themed count?  Surely Superman could be more spectacular in the theming department?

A teen got her sliced off by the Superman ride in Kentucky. It doesn't get much more exciting than that.

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

A teen got her sliced off by the Superman ride in Kentucky. It doesn't get much more exciting than that.

She got her sliced off. She is now an it.

Well, I'm a strong advocate of transgender rights; especially if they happen to be Brazilian and look really hot and feminine.

So it's all good.  Really.

She got her legs sliced off. 

I probably shouldn't try to post when I'm watching Jubboiter. She really does a number on my ability to concentrate on what I'm writing.

Quasar thinks I shouldn't post at all. He's probably right.

How the hell does somebody get their legs sliced off on a rollercoaster????????  Short of placing them across the track and waiting for the cars to come past?

Here's an article:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/06/21/six.flags.accident/

Eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww!