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My wife is going into labor

Posted by Corporal_Hicks on Tuesday, January 22, 2013

It's going to be a long night. Hopefully there's something good on tv that I can watch while she's pushing that sucker out.

Space Tycoon
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Posts: 2464
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

Jennifer Lopez is on Jon Stewart. 

I always liked J Lo., I don't care what anyone says.

The Swollen Goi...
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Posts: 14343
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

Will she not let you be in the room with her?

The Swollen Goi...
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Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

That question was for Hicks.

Space Tycoon
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Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

Will she not let you be in the room with her?

Not after "the incident."

Space Tycoon
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Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

In all seriousness, congradulations and best wishes, Corporal!

neglet
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Posts: 1434
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

 Oooooh, labor in winter. Always fun trying not to skid off the road on the way to the hospital. Good luck to you both!

Jakester
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Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

 Obama will fix it.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Jakester
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Posts: 5753
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

 Maybe he already did.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Jakester
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Posts: 5753
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

 But seriously, congrats to your wife and Bill Clinton.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Corporal_Hicks
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Posts: 1664
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

Going on 23 hours with no sleep and no end in sight. It's times like these when one's thoughts get crazy.

Sent from Dalton's IPad.
The Swollen Goi...
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Posts: 14343
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

I can only guess what sorts of crazy thoughts Hicks is having. If I were to guess, however, they might go something like this:

If you made every former Nazi rape every other former Nazi, they'd all eventually die of heart attacks. They're pretty old. I guess they'd rape down to the last one. You'd have to take care of that one on your own. Maybe you wouldn't have to rape the last one. Maybe the last one could be a death-by-slapping. Deaths-by-slapping probably take a while. You'd need a glove. Or a fish. Fish would probably be too cliché. Why's it always a fish? They're wet and they stink. Maybe that's it. Me? I'd use a beaver tail. Also wet. Also would stink. Both those guys are used as metaphors for vaginas. Huh. We should call them sea urchins or clams. That would make more sense. It's not like our cocks smell so great. Wonder where we get off comparing our cocks to roosters. Roosters don't stink. They're not wet. Sure, they can stink and be wet. It's not their natural state, though. Man. I'm getting pretty sleepy. I should get some coffee. Talk about something that's wet and stinky! But seriously.

Quasar
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Posts: 7588
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

I bet that's pretty close.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Mal Shot First
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Posts: 3180
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

Maybe the last one could be a death-by-slapping. Deaths-by-slapping probably take a while.

If you wanted to be especially cruel, you could kill them very slowly by throwing cotton balls at them.

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

It's not like our cocks smell so great.

Speak for yourself! Maybe you should stop taking baths and start showering.

Mal Shot First
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Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

That last comment was directed at Hicks's inner voice as imagined by Goiter, not at Goiter himself.

Jakester
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Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

 There's no way I can follow what Goiter wrote. Fortunately, Mal already did.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
The Swollen Goi...
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Posts: 14343
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

Mal Shot First wrote:

If you wanted to be especially cruel, you could kill them very slowly by throwing cotton balls at them.

The best part of this punishment is that it's not the cotton balls that kill them. It's the starvation.

Quasar
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Posts: 7588
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

The dehydration would get 'em first. Sped up by the cottom balls absorbing excess moisture.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
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Posts: 14343
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

No. They make sure to give them plenty of water. It's meaner that way.

Daltons chin dimple
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Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

 Any news?  Another little Hicks?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Corporal_Hicks
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Posts: 1664
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

She's still laborin'. 32 hours with no sleep.

Time to look up Iron Man 3 spoilers.

Sent from Dalton's IPad.
The Swollen Goi...
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Posts: 14343
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

Spoiler:

Hicks won't like it.

neglet
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Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

Corporal_Hicks wrote:

She's still laborin'. 32 hours with no sleep.Time to look up Iron Man 3 spoilers.

I think that qualifies as torture by Geneva convention standards.

Corporal_Hicks
Location:
Posts: 1664
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

Well, to no one's surprise he has a big pecker. Every nurse on the floor was dropping by to check him out.

I still haven't slept. It's well over 36 hours now.

Sent from Dalton's IPad.
The Swollen Goi...
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Posts: 14343
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

You heard it here, folks. Iron Man 3's pecker is huge.

Jakester
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Posts: 5753
Posted: 8 years 38 weeks ago

 So...the kid's popped out, or just his cock?

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.