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The Prequels Strike Back (article at Tor)

Posted by Quasar on Tuesday, August 23, 2011

http://www.tor.com/blogs/2011/08/the-prequels-strike-back#207084

I was going to post this link, but I'm 5 years over the Prequels.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7587
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

I'm spitting at my screen right now!

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Corporal_Hicks
Location:
Posts: 1664
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

Ipsilon wrote:

I was disappointed in the lightsaber fight in Episode III.  It should've completely eclipsed the Maul fight in Episode I and instead was eclipsed by it.While I acknowledge and agree with a lot of (all of) the flaws ya'll point out, I seem to treat the prequels with less disdain.  From you guys, I get the impression that you'd spit in their path if they were people.  Possibly even mug them.  I just kinda look at them and frown, disappointedly.

Yeah, but you wouldn't know quality cinema if it slapped its dick in your face.

Sent from Dalton's IPad.
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

 I'd go the "surprise buttsecks" route.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Corporal_Hicks
Location:
Posts: 1664
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

How's this?

Ipsy wouldn't know quality cinema if it had surprise buttsecks with his butt.

Sent from Dalton's IPad.
Ipsilon
Location:
Posts: 565
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

The other thing that bugs me about the prequels is the lack of space battles.  The battle in Jedi was so great and I was hoping, with all they could do in 2004, that in Episode III we'd get one to top it.  But no.  Cue the disappointed look.

That happened and we all let it happen.
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

That space battle at the start of III looked promising, then just blew it with silly droid shenanigans and Scooby Doo corridor antics. I still love that shot in VI of the Falcon piling through the middle of those fighters.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Corporal_Hicks
Location:
Posts: 1664
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

The third act (film term, Ipsy) of ROTJ is as good as anything in Empire.

Sent from Dalton's IPad.
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7587
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

I've been over the prequels for 5 weeks.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Drakemd
Location:
Posts: 1905
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

You should have posted that 5 weeks ago.

Turn your head and cough!
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7587
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

I thought I had.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

5 years ago Quasar, 5 years ago man!

Only 2 things wrong with Jedi. 'Sister' Leia and the Ewoks. Only because you know the Ewoks were gonna be Wookies and that Lucas never planned the Sister shit.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7587
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

Untrue, as portrayed in a recently discovered deleted scene from Episode IV from back when it was originally envisioned as an R rated space adventure. Luke and Leia have sex, after which a disgusted Luke declares "Gawd! You fuck like you're my sister!"

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

To which she replies, 'Luke, I am your sister!' before a troop of Ugnauts get involved in some freaky midget sex? I think I saw that one.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
omicron
Location:
Posts: 1238
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

.

We were watching Al-Quaeda, and all this time our security services should have been keeping watch on Jakester's throbbing nutsack!-Dalton's chin dimple
Drakemd
Location:
Posts: 1905
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

This thread has now taken an expected turn.

Turn your head and cough!
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7587
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

We're comfortable in our predictability.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

I thought R2 was the one with all the useful attachments.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 3 years 16 weeks ago

Are too.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7587
Posted: 3 years 15 weeks ago

I've 5 years over the Blu-Ray releases.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Corporal_Hicks
Location:
Posts: 1664
Posted: 3 years 15 weeks ago

Jesus, that can't be real.

Sent from Dalton's IPad.
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 3 years 15 weeks ago

Fatboy thinks Star Wars should be completely rebooted. I tend to agree, and I love his screenwriters and directors.

http://nerdpuddle.com/whither-the-reboot/

 

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 2 years 45 weeks ago
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7587
Posted: 2 years 44 weeks ago

AAAWWWEEESSSOOOMMMEEE!!!

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Drakemd
Location:
Posts: 1905
Posted: 2 years 44 weeks ago

Someone told Lucas that the prequels couldn't suck anymore and he said, "Oh yeah?  Watch this!"

Turn your head and cough!