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Question for Dirty Harry Potter

Posted by Corporal_Hicks on Saturday, February 13, 2010

Do you have any recipe(s) that involve using an entire block, 16oz, of Velvetta cheese?

Thanks. I'll hang up and listen.

Dirty Harry Potter
Location:
Posts: 284
Posted: 10 years 49 weeks ago

Fondu with weiners. Twinkies for dessert.

For more white trash recipes, here's a link....

http://www.dba-oracle.com/redneck_cuisine.htm

Barf Appetite!

There is no why
Corporal_Hicks
Location:
Posts: 1664
Posted: 10 years 49 weeks ago

Muy Bien.

My mexican friends will be sure to enjoy.

Sent from Dalton's IPad.
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 49 weeks ago

Corporal_Hicks wrote:

Muy Bien.My mexican friends will be sure to enjoy.

Right up until the point where their arteries take on the consistency of spackle!

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
HI MY NAME IS GUS
Location:
Posts: 357
Posted: 10 years 49 weeks ago

Dirty Harry Potter wrote:

Fondu with weiners. Twinkies for dessert.For more white trash recipes, here's a link....http://www.dba-oracle.com/redneck_cuisine.htmBarf Appetite!

From the recipe for "Live Lobster Sushi" --

"The dying lobster is served in it's final death throughs, his antennae waving frantically."

Served in it is death throughs! The final ones, no less!

Think of me as a megaphone directed at God's eardrum, my child.
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 49 weeks ago

It's the show, not the flavor, since law lobster is much like eating slimy, raw shrimp.

Headline:

Law Lobster Appeals, Seeks Permission to Throe Certain Evidences out of Court; Clam's Claims Law Lobster Could Not Have Been Caught Red-Handed Appear to Have Merit

* * *

I can confirm that the Armour-brand canned pork brains is no gag. I've had them scrambled with eggs a number of times. They're best with hot sauce.

Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

But they're not pork brains. Pork is meat from a pig. You don't go and kill a pork, although you may pork your girl. Nay, you kill a pig to get pork.

So, WTF is "pork brains?"

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

No, you don't go kill a "Pork". But you still get Pork chops too.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
HI MY NAME IS GUS
Location:
Posts: 357
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

Maybe there's a little bit of pork fat mixed in. Like Pork & Beans, only brains.

Think of me as a megaphone directed at God's eardrum, my child.
Corporal_Hicks
Location:
Posts: 1664
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

These all sound like great recipes I would love to wash down with an ice cold Coca Cola Classic.

Sent from Dalton's IPad.
spammityspam
Location:
Posts: 186
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

The only recipe I know involving Velveeta is to add an equal amount of Ro-Tel and make faqueso. I think my mom used to do some mac 'n cheese variant involving tons of processed cheese, but I also think it was a complicated recipe and anyway I can't remember it.

"Men weren't really the enemy - they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill." -- Betty Friedan
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

Wasn't there a rabbit made out of Velveeta once?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
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Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

The Velveteen Rabbit sends out mixed moral messages. I don't recommend it for children.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

Yeah, but cheese is teh bomb!

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

Velveeta isn't cheese.

HI MY NAME IS GUS
Location:
Posts: 357
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

It says "cheeze" right on the box; how could it not be cheeze?

Think of me as a megaphone directed at God's eardrum, my child.
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

Velveeta : Cheese :: Merchant Marines : Marines

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

So it's fake cheese? Processed and possibly squirty? That's the best kind!

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Dirty Harry Potter
Location:
Posts: 284
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

Velveeta isn't cheese.

It's processed crap. I hate the stuff, and refuse to eat it. Yes, I'm a food snob.

I don't consider Oreo cookies, twinkies, processed ham, or Pizza Pops to be real food either.

There is no why
Corporal_Hicks
Location:
Posts: 1664
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

Velveeta melts better than cheddar.

Sent from Dalton's IPad.
Mal Shot First
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Posts: 3180
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

Dirty Harry Potter wrote:

I don't consider Oreo cookies, twinkies, processed ham, or Pizza Pops to be real food either.

If you can eat it and your body can digest it, it's food.

HI MY NAME IS GUS
Location:
Posts: 357
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

Me, I only eat authentic food that has been put to a committee vote, certified and stamped "Genuine Edible Organic Material Product" by grey-beard academicians and scienticians.

I do it because I love my children.

Think of me as a megaphone directed at God's eardrum, my child.
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

Daltons chin dimple wrote:

So it's fake cheese? Processed and possibly squirty?

Damn it, Dalty, quit setting me up for obvious jokes. You know I have a weakness. I'm like Roger Rabbit when he hears the percussion sequence for "Shave and a Haircut."

Keeripes. Here goes:

Processed and possibly squirty? That's what happens aft . . .

No. No, not this time. I have restraint. I do. I do. I . . .

Doo doo! That's what happens to it after it turns to doo doo!

*sigh*

* * *

Dirty Harry Potter wrote:

It's processed crap. I hate the stuff, and refuse to eat it. Yes, I'm a food snob.I don't consider Oreo cookies, twinkies, processed ham, or Pizza Pops to be real food either.

I don't care for elitist distinctions or priggish pronouncements. (I'm sure everyone cares to know what I don't care for.) Despite my love for Pauline Kael (I disagree with her takes on movies a good deal of the time, but she writes about them so clearly and expresses her reasoning for liking and disliking them with such finesse that I can still enjoy reading her reviews), it still chaps my ass that she went to great lengths to separate "films" from "movies."

I also don't care for being told what's "real" punk and what's not, or for what is major and minor Dickens, et cetera.

It paints people into a corner, and forces them to have to declare some of the things they like to be "guilty pleasures" in order for them to partake in them in public. That way, they get to enjoy these things and still be "above" them--which I consider to be dishonest. (This is probably the third or fourth time I have brought this up. I acknowledge that I am repetitive and a blow-hard. I apologize for it, if it offends anyone. But only if it offends anyone.) It also forces themselves to narrow their intake to try to meet their own impossible self-imposed standards for snobbery.

* * *

Mal Shot First wrote:

If you can eat it and your body can digest it, it's food.

You're worse than Dalty!

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

HI MY NAME IS GUS wrote:

I do it because I love my children.

Don't tell your wife that.

Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

The Swollen Goiter of God, I am "above" many people... but not above you and HI MY NAME IS GUS. You are just two tall mofos!

Get it? "Two" tall? ... *sigh*

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 48 weeks ago

There's a lot of sighing going on in this thread.