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Spring Break?

Posted by Daltons chin dimple on Monday, March 18, 2013

Help me out here, my American friends. As far as I can work out, this 'Spring Break' thing appears to be some kind of ancient mating ritual?

Lot's of white boys, who appear to all be called Chet or Todd, dress up like black boys. They have a mating call - 'Spring break! Wooooooo!! Yeah!!!' which, when accompanied by those rock'n'roll devil horn finger signs, makes lots of girls called Tori or Becki (with an 'I') want to sleep with them.

Bikinis as mandatory, even at 11pm.

I have seen the films. Isn't there supposed to be an axe murderer or some kind of swarm of man eating fish due at any moment?

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 36 weeks ago

The ax murderer isn't due. He's there, and he's you.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 7 years 36 weeks ago

Watch out for the couple getting the most screen time. They're the ones that'll eventually do you in.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 36 weeks ago

You'll probably manage to kill the guy, but odds are even on him slicing one of your tendons or putting a couple bullets in you.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 7 years 36 weeks ago

Also, whenever you're off camera, you'll be able to move like lightning without making a whiff of noise. You should take advantage of that.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Mal Shot First
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Posts: 3180
Posted: 7 years 36 weeks ago

Not only has Dalty traveled to Florida, he has also traveled to 1986.

CadderlySoaring
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Posts: 88
Posted: 7 years 36 weeks ago

 Always keep $2 dollars with you...

And don't even think about going into the water first. Wait until at least 5 chumps hit the water before entering yourself. 

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 7 years 32 weeks ago

Why did nobody tell me about US Spring Break when I was young, single and thinner? 

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 32 weeks ago

They released the movie Spring Break way back in 1983, and they did it just for you. They did it right when you were on puberty's threshold so that you'd have plenty of time to prepare.

They even made sure to have it be directed by the director of Friday the 13th. You know, to make sure it would pique your interest.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 7 years 32 weeks ago

 It didn't work.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 7 years 32 weeks ago

That was more your fault.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 7 years 32 weeks ago

"From the Director of Friday 13th" was almost guaranteed to keep me away.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"