Fireplace, mind you, not my chimney. It must have fallen/flew in last night because I heard the chain curtain rattling and the tweeting late last night. Boyfriend looked in with a flashlight, sure enough, stupid bird is perched on the brick wall. Despite our best efforts at rationally explaining to the bird to fly up and out instead of banging his stupid head into the doors, the stupid thing is still there today.
I am torn as to whether the dumb bird will figure it out or if I should call someone to extort tons of money from me to remove it. I'm really afraid this is, like, the retard cousin of the very smart birds who come to our birdfeeder daily. What I do not want is this directionally challenged creature dying in my fireplace causing me an emotional breakdown and crying spell. I'm already developing a nervous tick from hearing it the stupid thing bang against the chain curtain over and over again.
We have movies to watch tonight, I can't concentrate on "He's Just Not That Into You" with a kamikaze bird 15 feet away from me. How can I enjoy Clive Owen in "The International" with a little feathery tail in my periphery?
Suggestions? Volunteers? Someone know how to get rid of this thing? Boyfriend and I are at a loss.