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Watch Anything Bad Lately?

Posted by KingVoyeur on Friday, January 8, 2010

For all the crappy movies.

I watched the old Captain America on Hulu yesterday. I skipped a chunk in the middle because I couldn't stand it. God that's a bad movie.

Bill_the_Only
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Posts: 702
Posted: 11 years 2 weeks ago

While staying with friends over Xmas weekend, I got them all into Firefly and Serenity.

For all that good, though, my friend had a netflix dvd sitting there that they hadn't gotten to yet, and to take a break from all the Firefly episodes we put it on.

It was a Troma movie called "Poultrygeist". It lasted about ten minutes before we said "ENOUGH!"

What the fuck is wrong with those people? You can't purposely make a bad movie and expect that "it'll be so bad it's good", that doesn't happen. It just ends up a piece of shit that stinks twice as bad.

FUCK Troma.

Space Tycoon
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Posts: 2464
Posted: 11 years 2 weeks ago

Star Trek '09. :smirk:

Jakester
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Posts: 5753
Posted: 11 years 2 weeks ago

Whiteout. Really bad dialogue, a thin plot, and a predictable outcome. Did I mention the bad dialogue?

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
spammityspam
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Posts: 186
Posted: 11 years 2 weeks ago

The Spirit, last summer. What the hell was going on there?

I also never liked Watchmen. I don't think that was a graphic novel that would ever have made a graceful transition to cinema, though.

"Men weren't really the enemy - they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill." -- Betty Friedan
Dirty Harry Potter
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Posts: 284
Posted: 11 years 2 weeks ago

Prince Caspian. Glossy phoney mess of a film. Not worthy of the Narnia series.

There is no why
Space Tycoon
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Posts: 2464
Posted: 11 years 2 weeks ago

OK, I gotta come clean. ST 09 wasn't such a bad movie. I've had time to reflect.

When you get right down to it, on it's own merits, it was actually pretty cool. Ok, there, I said it.

But why did they have to screw up Kirk's backstory so much? Why did Spock have to get laid? Why was Chekov born so early? Why was the USS Enterprise so damned ugly?!

Spock's not getting laid was like, one of the cornerstones of the original series. It made you wonder about him. The asceticism of the Vulcans, versus the emotionalism of the Humans, provided the dramatic conflict that drove Star Trek into the stratosphere of fandom.

Cool explosions though. IMO.

spammityspam
Location:
Posts: 186
Posted: 11 years 2 weeks ago

To be fair, it WAS an alternate universe -- Kirk's backstory was screwed up because his dad died way before he was supposed to. I think the change to Spock's character strengthened him for me, made him a little more real, though as usual I think they made too big a deal about the human half of him. Do you ever notice that, how aliens in movies who are half and half are always "trapped" in the alien culture and find freedom through the suppressed human self?

That was something I thought the original series did well; I found the original Spock much more Vulcan than human, which made sense, since he had been raised in an almost entirely Vulcan environment. I think in the movie his having a more human sexuality was supposed to counterbalance how everything else about him was Vulcan and make the later switch to siding with humans easier to believe. In the TV show, they had a lot more space to give him humor, a closer and longer friendship with Kirk, and a million other things to make him human. You're right about the sex -- it's a huge marker of the difference between Vulcan and human culture, and I think they used that along with anger instead of smaller details because of the space limitations.

I have no clue why Chekov was born so early. Maybe Kirk's dad died before he got to set his parents up. I think it was probably because kid they got to play Chekov was so. freaking. adorable. Though, I mean, he was supposed to be 17 in the movie -- how old was Kirk supposed to be, 20 or 22? Maybe the age difference looks bigger when one half of a relatively small gap is still in the final throes of puberty.

I love that movie to an insane degree.

"Men weren't really the enemy - they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill." -- Betty Friedan
Bill_the_Only
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Posts: 702
Posted: 11 years 2 weeks ago

What I didn't care for was the green alien girl. Looked like green pancake makeup.

spammityspam
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Posts: 186
Posted: 11 years 2 weeks ago

It did! And also... bright green, but apparently nothing else is amiss? I always wondered how Kirk physically managed to bang so many aliens.

"Men weren't really the enemy - they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill." -- Betty Friedan
Bill_the_Only
Location:
Posts: 702
Posted: 11 years 2 weeks ago

Precisely. Red lips, mouth, what color hair again...? (I have it on DVD, too) ....maybe it was a nod to cheesiness of the tv series production values, if so it worked, but heck.... a little more effort.

Corporal_Hicks
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Posts: 1664
Posted: 11 years 1 week ago

Star Trek '09 has grown on me, too.

I originally had it pegged as the 6th best (or tied for 6th best) Trek film.

It's now in the 3 or 4ish range.

But against I'll say that I love how it jerked with the timeline and pissed off all of the "fans". That is still the icing on the cake for me.

Sent from Dalton's IPad.
Space Tycoon
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Posts: 2464
Posted: 11 years 1 week ago

Well, for me it was the lapses in basic logic and common sense, which even a child could see through. 3rd year cadet becomes Captain of the Flagship of Starfleet? Really?!

And the abandonment of the established storyline.

Space Tycoon
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Posts: 2464
Posted: 11 years 1 week ago

Still, better than Turkish Star Trek:

Daltons chin dimple
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Posts: 12800
Posted: 11 years 1 week ago

At the risk of appearing to be trying, desperately, to justify the whole "3rd Year Cadet as Captain" issue with ST09.....

1) He wasn't just a "Cadet", Kirk, along with the others was an Officer Cadet, primed for senior roles in the fleet, fast tracked to command. Sort of like being shit-hot at West Point or Sandhurst..... actually Dartmouth is the Royal Navy college (I think) so that might be a better comparison. I don't know what the US Navy college is. Today it is common for graduates of these institutions to go straight into senior roles on vessels, and skip far ahead of NCO's and other personnel in screening for command.

2) Notwithstanding the situation with Nero, Pike did say he could have his own ship in 8 years and Kirk said he would do it in 4.

3) On first engagement with Nero, the entire secondary fleet (other then the Enterprise) is destroyed with all hands. There were a hell of a lot of vacancies to be filled, and a lot of dead bodies unable to fill them within Starfleet. It is not inconceivable that an awful lot of "Extreme Fast Tracking" would occur.

4) The ship is pretty much filled with cadets and Kirk recieves a battlefield commission to First Officer from Pike, so is therefore in line to take over command, via another battlefield commission, when Spock is relieved. Battlefield commissions tend to stand, post the events that caused them. However unlikely and far fetched, he was legitimately promoted to the rank of Captain.

5) He did prove himself in the single biggest test any Officer/Cadet/Emergency Starfleet captain could ever possibly face. When handing over the keys to the Enterprise, in the face of a chronic staff shortage caused by the loss of half the fleet, you might as well give them to somebody who has proved he can do it.

I do agree that it is a stretch of the imagination though. Maybe a 2nd movie with him as first officer to Captain April, which ends with his final promotion into "The Chair" would have worked??

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
kah
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Posts: 862
Posted: 11 years 1 week ago

Wanted. I really wanted it to be good, and it had a few great moments, but mostly it just sucked.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 11 years 1 week ago

I couldn't understand how they pretty much completely ignored the entire graphic novel that it was based on. It was like adapting Spiderman, only he wasn't ever bitten by a spider, never climbed walls and didn't wear the costume.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 11 years 1 week ago

Help me out here. I can't work out whether GI Joe is cheesy fun, or sheer cinematic awfulness???

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Jakester
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Posts: 5753
Posted: 11 years 1 week ago

I thought it was cheesy fun. It was like playing GI Joe in real life -- the physics didn't work, and the story was wacky, but at least made some kind of sense, and the people are all superhuman. Oh and RACHEL NICHOLS.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 11 years 1 week ago

Was she the one with the ginger hair and the good rack??? Wasn't she also painted green in New Trek?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 11 years 1 week ago

She was. She has a great rack. Her eyes are also pretty awesome. I've seen them once or twice.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Kaeos
Location:
Posts: 417
Posted: 11 years 1 week ago

Oh good god Daybreakers. Easily the biggest cinematic let down I've had in a very long time. This was a great story idea, the first (seemingly) original vampire idea I've seen lately and they squandered it. This film could have had an epic look and feel, instead it played out not too differently than I would have expected in a SyFy original. There was no drama, no suspense no excitement, no "holy shit!" moments at all.

Really sucks to see something with potential be wasted. :(

The Best Music, and The Best New Talk Radio! www.iTMIRadio.com
kah
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Posts: 862
Posted: 11 years 1 week ago

I have two words for that... Sam Neil.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Space Tycoon
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Posts: 2464
Posted: 11 years 6 days ago

Jakester wrote:

She was. She has a great rack. Her eyes are also pretty awesome. I've seen them once or twice.

spammityspam
Location:
Posts: 186
Posted: 11 years 6 days ago

DAMN.

"Men weren't really the enemy - they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill." -- Betty Friedan
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 11 years 6 days ago

You said it, babe!

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.