Movies: 1135
Comments: 67725
Members: 718
Online: 0 Guests: 455
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 823.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_display::options_validate() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_validate(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_display.inc on line 1684.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_display::options_submit() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_submit(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_display.inc on line 1684.
  • strict warning: Declaration of date_plugin_display_attachment::options() should be compatible with views_object::options() in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 33.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 24.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 25.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 26.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 28.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 29.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 30.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 31.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_field_comment::init() should be compatible with views_handler_field::init(&$view, $options) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment.inc on line 48.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_field_user::init() should be compatible with views_handler_field::init(&$view, $options) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/user/views_handler_field_user.inc on line 48.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_field_comment_username::init() should be compatible with views_handler_field::init(&$view, $options) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 48.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_argument::init() should be compatible with views_handler::init(&$view, $options) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_argument.inc on line 699.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 584.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 584.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_style_default::options() should be compatible with views_object::options() in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_style_default.inc on line 25.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_validate() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_validate(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_row.inc on line 61.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_submit() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_submit(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_row.inc on line 61.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 823.
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 823.
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 823.
  • strict warning: Declaration of content_handler_field::options() should be compatible with views_object::options() in /home/corona/public_html/modules/cck/includes/views/handlers/content_handler_field.inc on line 170.

What are you watching right now?

Posted by Daltons chin dimple on Saturday, March 6, 2010

I am watching The Karate Kid Part II. It has not aged well.

Adam54
Location:
Posts: 2082
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago

kah wrote:

Adam, I am beyond horrified right now. I can never have sex with you.

You're aware you just warmed Jake's heart, right?

Is that really what you want?

kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago

Better his heart than his cock.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Adam54
Location:
Posts: 2082
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago

 He...has a heart?

I always assumed he had a heart shaped cock. 

Fascinating. 

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago

Or a cock shaped heart, I think that is more likely.

I really, sincerely hope you dig the hell out of Die Hard.  Shit, I actually wish I could be there to watch it with you, with a case of beers and possibly some kind of John McClane related drinking game.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago

kah wrote:

Adam, I am beyond horrified right now. I can never have sex with you.


I'm going to have this framed.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago

Kah, look...I'm gonna bang you.  It's just a fact.  You might as well get it over with sooner, rather than later.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago

We need the "fact" police! GOITER!!!!!

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago

I think we may need the normal Police, and some counselling.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Adam54
Location:
Posts: 2082
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago

Daltons chin dimple wrote:

Or a cock shaped heart, I think that is more likely..

See, I like my way better. It's a little known fact that if he can ever get his heart shaped cock into kah's heart shaped box, Kurt Cobain will rise from the grave.

Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago

Kah, I'd like you to make an mp3 of yourself uttering various profanities and email it to me.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago

Adam54 wrote:

See, I like my way better. It's a little known fact that if he can ever get his heart shaped cock into kah's heart shaped box, Kurt Cobain will rise from the grave.

I am getting some kind of creepy Lockmaster / Gatekeeper vibe here. If Zuul appears, empty your heads of everything.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Jack S. Pharaoh
Location:
Posts: 2231
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago

Zuul was the Gatekeeper. Gozer the Gozerian was the one who used people's thoughts to choose the form of the destructor.

Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago

I watched The A-Team movie yesterday.  It was a surprisingly good reboot/remake.  I think it kept the spirit of the show and the characters alive, and I enjoyed everyone's performances.  It was good in all the ways Clash of the Titans wasn't.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 9 years 32 weeks ago

Jack S. Pharaoh wrote:

Zuul was the Gatekeeper. Gozer the Gozerian was the one who used people's thoughts to choose the form of the destructor.

Ahhh yes, I remember now. There was no Dana, only Zuul.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
KingVoyeur
Location:
Posts: 1601
Posted: 9 years 31 weeks ago

Watched Jacques Tati's Playtime. Very good, today's comedies should take note.

Honey bunches.....of death!
kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 9 years 31 weeks ago

Finally watched Blind Side on Monday.  I was on the verge of tears for 2 straight hours, and I'm not even pissed about it.  I really, really loved it.  I'll have to watch it again so I can hate it the second time around.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 31 weeks ago

On the drive to see Winter's Bone, atrejub and I spotted a Goodwill billboard that read, "Do your share and get that warm, fuzzy feeling!" It seemed condescending. It seemed like we were being told to help people for the sake of feeling better about ourselves. It seemed to trivialize the needy. It was the perfect billboard to see on the way to Winter's Bone.

Speaking of Winter's Bone, I'm not going to call it that from this point forward. Instead, I will be referring to it as Here's a Doobie for Your Walk. I'm calling it that because a character says this at one point, and does so with the kind of sweeping, over-the-top casualness one might expect to come from a gang of film school students doing their best to communicate their version of "how the other half lives" to the handful of urbanites who will be keeping this movie going until its likely wide/re-release in December--otherwise known as "Don't Forget About Us, Oscar!" Month for small movies with small budgets and an initially limited run. This is assuming said urbanites can hide their hard-ons for this notorious awards fodder long enough to buy a ticket. (Hearing "Here's a doobie for your walk" made me laugh and brought me joy. If I repeat the line throughout, maybe I will be able to wring enough joy out of my memory of the moment to be able to power through whatever I decide to write.)

Warning:

A scattered non-review follows.

Before I proceed, here's the skinny on our individual baggage going into Here's a Doobie for Your Walk: 1.) atrejub grew up near the Ozarks, reasonably near Forsyth; 2.) my hometown in Alabama is similar enough to Forsyth-as-depicted for me to feel like some tainted idea of what my old friends and neighbors were like was what was up on the screen. I'll let atrejub say whatever she feels she has to say about how close the movie hews to the reality of Forsyth, Missouri. I won't go much more into detail than to say some variation on what I already said, which is that the movie strikes me as an outsider's romantic (inasmuch as the outsider might find romance in a rural community beaten down by the monster that is meth) idea of a place with which s/he is not really familiar.

Just out of curiosity, I'm breaking off here to go look up Debra Granik. My suspicion is that she went to film school, and that she did not grow up in a rural area. I suspect this because I have seen an interview with her, and she struck me as being of the same stock as the usual swimmy-headed film students I have encountered in my embarrassingly long career in academia. Back in a moment.

Back. Graduated from NYU film school. Grew up in a suburb in Washington, D.C. Does that mean she is incapable of depicting rural Missouri with skill and honesty? No. Does that mean she is incapable of depicting a meth-ravaged town with skill and honesty? No. (After all, she's adapting someone else's work, and we don't expect everyone who ever cooked up a work of art to have a personal, historical connection to what inspired the artwork.) Do I hold anything against her for trying? No. Do I have an ax to grind for cinematic pomposity in general? Definitely. Does that mean I am incapable of looking at something like Here's a Doobie for Your Walk without being quick to judge and ultimately dismissive of it? Possibly.

Granik does try. She tries hard. She tries harder than (and here's where I overreach for a comparison to nineteenth century German realism to try to equal Granik's perhaps unwitting pomposity--if only to make myself feel bad about myself for mocking her efforts) Adolf Menzel tried to capture steel workers and miners in their element. Menzel, too, was of a more privileged class than the one he sought to portray realistically, and through his work twines similar threads of nobleness of effort and incongruity of station.

Seriously, though. I have no problem with Granik's raising or education. I just made what I thought to be an educated guess about both, and found my guess (assuming the factualness of the Wikipedia article) to be correct.

That said, here's the video I saw that gave me the impression that the director was a swimmy-headed film school grad:

In it, she utters the following sentence:

"She's met with a very could shoulder--in some ways, hostility--that actually mounts, and, she realizes, a very big collusion of silence: they're hiding something."

What's that? You're right. She does sort of look like Rob Morrow.

On to the movie.

It starts with a solo, a capella song that tells the audience right away: this movie is slice-of-life (something I'm sure Granik was trained to refer to as tranche de vie). This movie looks at the common person. This movie shows real people being real in a real way. While we hear this a capella song, we see kids jumping on a trampoline, a rundown house on what looks like rundown farm land, trash in the yard. The singing stops and we see a family going about its daily life: a late teen washing her hands, a kid waking another kid up, too-thin dogs dressing the set-that-is-not-supposed-to-be-a-set. This is a short story straight out of a fucking literary journal.

Granik and Co. will be force-feeding the viewer many more cues throughout to try to sell the illusion of a meth-wrecked white trash rurality. The viewer will witness an honest-to-God hootenanny, a squirrel skinning, a farm auction, an exploded meth lab, and preteen children being trained to shoot a gun by a minor. (Basically, all things I see when I go home to stay with my maternal family.)

Regarding that last one: the viewer will definitely, definitely see firearms. Everybody has at least one, apparently. Everyone. (Again, pretty much the way it is in my hometown.) The movie wants you to know this. In fact, in a scene I'm nearly certain Granik thought would be a portentous and symbolic inclusion, she has a train of Junior ROTC students march down a high school hallway with rifles resting on shoulders. Granik wants everyone to understand that the indoctrination of the Ozark way of pistol-packin' life is so deeply ingrained that it carries into the classroom. Or something.

I said above that Here's a Doobie for Your Walk tells the audience right away that it is slice-of-life. That isn't quite what it turns out to be, even if it does set out to give that impression. It is not a plotless thing with no conflict (not that slice-of-life narratives must be devoid of these two things). It turns out to be a fairly standard mystery with a clear MacGuffin--which MacGuffin is the whereabouts of the heroine's father.

[SPOILERS]The father needs to be located because he put his house up for bail, and if he can't be found, the house--in which his wife and three children live--will be repossessed. The eldest of the children, our heroine, starts asking questions she's told to stop asking, she involves family and friends, she invokes some sort of Ozark blood brotherhood to try to gain information, discovers that her father went informant, is known to have gone informant (and is probably dead as a result of this) but keeps digging away in a dogged and fairly unbelievable search for truth. In my experience, people in her situation and situations like hers know to stop digging without having to be told more than once. I don't buy that she wouldn't, because I don't buy that super heroism of the magnitude exhibited by her exists in the real world. Such heroism would take a death wish or unwavering stupidity. She doesn't seem to me to want to die, and she doesn't strike me as stupid. I suppose the "mother's protective instinct" card (though she is not a mother) could be pulled, but my guess is that this protective instinct, were it real and not a narrative contrivance, would steer her clear of actually putting the children/her siblings in danger the way she does by drawing more and more attention to her family's situation.[/SPOILERS]

There's a touch of the Western in there, too, as I believe Granik points out in the above video. She doesn't need to point it out. The movie makes it abundantly clear.

A word about the heroine: did you see Cold Mountain? You know the tough-as-nails, tomboy mountain woman played in the movie by Renée Zellweger? My guess is that Granik showed Jennifer Lawrence a highlight reel of Zellweger's performance and said, "That's what I want you to do, but dial down the accent, comedy, and any hint of joy."

So, anyway, you are to make absolutely no mistake about the heroine's quality of character. She sticks to her guns, is a tougher and more resilient than any human you've ever met, and won't take "No" for an answer. She's also just about as down-trodden as they come. I was expecting her either to get raped or get the shit beaten out of her because of this. (I mean, Granik wouldn't let the heroine of Here's a Doobie for Your Walk be less down-trodden than Precious from Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire, would she?) And when I say "I was expecting," I mean I leaned over to atrejub and said, "She's going to be raped, have the shit beaten out of her, or both." [SPOILERS]Since Here's a Doobie for Your Walk is a mystery and the heroine more or less fills the role of detective, it turned out that she got the shit beaten out of her. I was a little surprised she wasn't raped, but atrejub tells me a quick Google search revealed that there was an implicit rape in the book.[/SPOILERS]

I guess I don't really have all that much more to say about the movie. The tension felt manufactured, the white trashiness felt manufactured, and the resolution was anticipated. I wanted to be drawn in, but I wasn't. Considering how closely Here's a Doobie for Your Walk's community resembled that of my hometown, the weight of entertainment (for me) was thrust on the backs of the movie's Western and Mystery leanings.

If the movie had had any chance of grabbing me, it would have had to have done it through one or both of these two channels. It came close on an occasion or two. Whenever it did, it was because of John Hawkes. He and his easy charm come closest, I think, to the realism Granik was going after. I realized early on that whenever he wasn't on the screen, it probably meant I was going to suffer through another shot of the heroine walking, walking, walking. This realization made me despair a little bit. I wanted more of him than I got.

* * *

Here's some silly bits from the movie that didn't quite make it into my non-review:

  1. At one point, a character says, "I done told you 'No' with my mouth." What he's getting at, of course, is that he doesn't want to have to tell her with his fists. It was supposed to be a tense moment, but it made me laugh.

  2. A character says, then repeats, "Don't you dare!" like this was a fucking movie or something. So much for slice-of-life.
  3. There's a needless dream sequence I'm guessing Granik threw in because she wanted to add another little film school touch that the realism she was trying to conjure with the rest of the movie wouldn't allow her to add (without there being a device such as a dream sequence in place, I mean). It reminds me of the opening scene in Lynch's Elephant Man. I've always felt Lynch just couldn't let himself play it completely straight. I imagine him watching the final cut, realizing he had made a solid movie with no real wacky directoral flourishes, then asking himself, "Wouldn't this movie be better if we started it off with closeups of a woman's face, then superimposed footage of elephants walking over her her, then implied with some cross-cutting that one of the elephants rapes her, then cut to a billowing smoke cloud, then capped it all off with the sound of a baby crying?"
  4. The final shot--with the three kids sitting on the porch looking off into infinity--was overwrought. It seemed like a pretty pretentious place to end the movie, so I announced "Cut to black!" about a half second before it actually happened. atrejub was understandably impressed.
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 31 weeks ago

Please forgive incomprehensible sentences and any omitted or superfluous words in the above. I'm only half awake. I will fix whatever stuff needs fixing later on in the day.

Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 9 years 31 weeks ago

TL;DR

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Strider
Location:
Posts: 1430
Posted: 9 years 31 weeks ago

I actually read through all of that, mostly because I was curious as to what kind of rant Goiter cooked up.  All I can say is that I completely disagree with Goiter on this one.  I loved Winter's Bone.

www.gamingoutsiders.com
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 31 weeks ago

You couldn't possibly completely disagree, because complete disagreement would require you not to acknowledge how much Granik looks like Rob Morrow.

KingVoyeur
Location:
Posts: 1601
Posted: 9 years 31 weeks ago

I had a pretty artsy weekend. Watched Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, The Passion of Joan of Arc, Black Orpheus, M, Black Narcissus, and My Favorite Wife (ok, that last one's not artsy, just fun).

Honey bunches.....of death!
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 9 years 31 weeks ago

I always completely disagree with Goiter. I just don't feel the need to point it out. But I could.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 31 weeks ago

It's understood, I think, and appreciated.  I'd be disappointed in you if you ever stopped.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 9 years 31 weeks ago

I disagree.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline